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Posts Tagged ‘soul’

For me, at this time, I see the inflow of energies and ensuing upgrades as very, very intimate and personal. No matter if they come on waves of gamma, photons or other radiation, as the human part of us understands, they will affect us in different ways. It’s not the energy that determines what we feel or experience, nor where it is coming from. Rather, it’s the beliefs, old identities and perceptions that have already risen to the surface, raised their hands to say, “I have outlived my purpose in your experience. I’m ready to be acknowledged by your conscious mind and body. I am ready to be understood, appreciated for the gift of my service, be burnt up, and release or integrated.” This is what this energetic upgrading is about.

We are all feeling it. But we don’t all recognize it for what it is. Sooner or later we start to catch on. And when we choose to take an intimate look within and see what’s happening inside us personally, we can get a broader view of it all. And with the awareness of this purging, we can finally work with our bodies, with our minds, to ease the process. Again, that ease will have a different feel and flavour for each one of us.

I want to share an experience. In this past week there has been much going on. Not on the outside, where the human mind sees and articulates, but within. My body has sure been feeling the intensity again. After several months of feeling respite, my joints again started to feel that familiar ache, deep and debilitating. As each day passed, it grew stronger and it became difficult to navigate the stairs, in both directions, without me thinking about taking each step carefully and firmly planning my feet down each time. Funny how things we take for granted normally can become a bigger undertaking at these times. And don’t get me started on driving while having a conversation with someone.

On the inside I’m tackling some hard discussions with myself. Now, I know this may at a deeper level than you may struggle with. I’ve always been very philosophical, and I typically don’t take these thought processes lightly. The choice before me now was like choosing to remain snorkeling among the pretty, brightly coloured fish in the lagoon or suiting on the heavier oxygen tanks and letting gravity take me deeper down into the waters that resist the sunlight in search for a priceless treasure that may or may not be there. The treasure de jour? What is beyond this illusionary life?

It’s a make or break time for me in a way. I sense the realness of it, the gravity of this struggle. As we go along in our awakening path, we attract information to us, experiences, people with keys, clues. And it’s our job to fit them all together as it is appropriate for us. Remember, another’s truth isn’t necessarily our own. But these little gems are offered to us to find our truth.

And I’ve been receiving many gems lately. And following them, finding myself questioning. Now, I have always seen asking questions as healthy, and really the only way to find our answers. So I keep asking and nd I keep listening. Watching. But sometimes it seems like no answers are given. This was what I was experiencing now. Lots of questions without definitive responses. Just more lures and enticements. What is beyond this experience? There really is no such thing as a belief. A belief is only something we create to take us from one space to another, one point in our thinking or acting to another. Incidentally, that includes the beliefs we have of an afterlife, God, creation…

I know the life we live is created from energy, nothing solid, it’s quantum. It’s a mind-boggling thing, but it’s something I’ve accepted for some time now. How far does that carry? All the spiritual stories I’ve been taught are part of that. Stories are usually used as teaching mechanisms. If what I’ve been taught as spiritual truths are also simply teaching devices, then what’s beyond that. IS there anything beyond that? Is there anything beyond this world? This universe? This consciousness?

Yeah, I know. Deep. Yet expanded. Perhaps it’s time to redefine it. Expanded contemplation. Well, this inner dialogue, coupled with these waves of gamma upgrades, I’ve been having an explosive time navigating it all. Ups and downs. Joys, frustrations and numbness. Wine. Those that are consciously on the awakening journey will perhaps relate to this in some ways. Those that aren’t will wonder why I waste my time and energy thinking like this. Again, welcome to the intimate and personal space. I share this for those that are maybe struggling as I have been, to encourage you, and inspire you.

Back to the land of the living, I went for coffee with a friend on Friday. It was a good time, and as is normal we got talking about all of this stuff. Talking it out was good, articulating it in human words what my spirit was grappling with was difficult, and that process was freeing as well. She reminded me to be less stringent along the way, that it’s a flow, an organic flow. My humanness wants to know and understand everything NOW, or better yet, yesterday. But that’s not the way this works when we are choosing the difficult way of mental understanding.

Needing to know what’s beyond, though I’m getting hints and teases, isn’t something I need to comprehend. Especially at this stage.

The rest of my day was amazingly and clearly befuddling – in a very joyous way. I was allowing something to come up that’s been lurking just under the surface for a very long time. Following each stepping stone in my path, I was getting nearer to something big. I could feel it. I didn’t understand it. But it was exciting. And I was getting heavier, and my joints were hurting stronger, and my gut was drawing my attention. I knew there was a big upgrade in process.

After dinner it got worse. Different. Something was definitely shifting. I was getting nauseous again, something I get a lot, but this was distinctive and I wondered if I’d be vising the bathroom tonight. I tried some tricks I’ve learned like drinking water, or eating something salty and saturated in fat. Yes, chips. Sometimes they are a good assistant with integration. But after one little chip I knew it wasn’t the answer. Dark chocolate? No, that wasn’t working either. I lay in bed. Breathing deeply. The nausea had turned to being on the verge of vomiting my now. I don’t get that way often, but this night I could feel a huge purging on the horizon.

As I lay there, I also read a short couple chapters in “Navigating Dimensions” by Lisa Brown, on the subject of partnering or cultivating a strong relationship with your soul. This is something that’s not new to any of us on this journey. In fact, you could say the journey itself IS the integration between the humanness and the soul. The communication between the two will always have room for improved intensity until we are purely One. So as I lay there, I start up a dialogue.

I can honestly say I’ve never felt my soul closer, or more excited about this moment we were sharing. Yes, I know words are limited. Whether I say soul, higher self or over soul, it doesn’t really matter. It’s that part of us that we don’t understand, that we seldom include consciously in our lives. It’s time to invite that part in. And it was such a beautiful communication I had with mine.

Again, words are limited. And the words we spoke together were truly only for my human clarification. Still, I got much from this experience.

The soul doesn’t mince energies, nor words. It came straight to the point. I was feeling awful and I seeking help in handling the energy upgrades. At this point I didn’t realize that what I was feeling was the point, rather than just a “symptom”. My soul said to me, “You’ve always been the deep one. You’re too deep, you miss your answers for the deep digging you do to search for them.” I snapped out of my connection because I wanted to remember this. That mind still wants to dictate and remember how it’s experienced. I quieted it down again and reconnected, and continued the discussion. The way I was feeling WAS the answer to my question of what is beyond. I got the strong answer that I could have left the body at that time, to find out what was beyond.

But at that same time it wasn’t my conscious choice to do so. I had considered a lot that day. Bouncing one thought around, then another. In the end it isn’t thinking that solves the equations. It’s resting. Allowing that the answers are there, and no longer struggling to grasp them. And by the time the conversation was nearing an end, the last thing I heard from my soul was “Lighthearted”…over and over again, with a lilt of laughter in the air of it all. I let the struggle go.

As I look back at the last number of months and all the signs and messages that have come my way, I can see the thread of what’s lead me right to this very place. Of course, it’s been an orchestration of my own – it’s personal. And I can feel into the flow of it now, where as before it was just words and intellectual ramblings.

That night before I fell asleep the sickness I was feeling had already started to dissipate. I no longer needed to take the hard road to get to point B. Shedding beliefs can be that simple. When we allow them to be so. I don’t have a cognitive answer for all of my questions that were flying around in my head. I don’t need them. There is no need to fill a void that no longer exists there. Again it’s not something I can explain, rather something only one can experience for oneself. The treasure of this evening was to let the flow happen in a natural way, without pushing through any veil, and just be joyful and lighthearted with every beat of the heart.

My sharing this is to inspire each of you to continue. Of course, we can’t discontinue this journey once we’ve chosen to embark on it. We can fool ourselves in thinking we can, but the truth is even that is part of the letting go.

I awoke the next morning wish such a different feeling and flow in my body and mind. There’s a freedom, and ease here now. Allowing is a powerful tool we have at our disposal for this awakening and uniting with our souls. Actually, it’s the only tool we have. We can’t force it to happen. It’s not something we will or dictate to be, or plan like an itinerary for a trip. We can only let it flow naturally, following the cues we have created already to be there.

When our bodies or minds start to feel the upgrading and connecting it’s a clue to us to LISTEN. What are we thinking? Contemplating? Resisting? What old patterns are we repeating that are ready to be released? What beliefs are being challenged? Where are we limiting ourselves? Once we have a feeling on it, simply acknowledge it, thank it for serving us to this place, and release our connection to it.

I have shared a little of my recent experience because I know I’m not the only one going through this. If this helps you feeling freer and more natural in how you navigate your journey I am glad. With each piece of who we no longer are is released the more who we are can come in and reside fully in our humanness. Imagine being a human and an angel, right here, right now. There are no words to express what this may look like.

Remember, the journey is your creation. You make it what you will, through your conscious interaction with it, with you choices, with the opening of your heart and the allowing of the natural flow. Even the parts we feel powerless in, it is here because we have created it in our ultimate wisdom. Enjoy it, no matter what it looks like. BE it fully. Flow freely and naturally with all that you attract into your awareness. Love to you.

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It has been snowing here, and with the freezing rain blanketed by a foot or more of snow, the roads certainly aren’t a pleasant experience. Top that with the grey, cloudy, depressing skies we’ve had and you have a basic winter blah.

But today was beautiful. Blue skies, sunshine and bright snow all around – a photographer’s dream. My plan today was to head out to the mall. Oh, I though a moment about taking my camera along, but chose to leave it behind. This trip had another purpose. It was about getting paints and brushes to begin my new adventure in abstract art.

When I turned onto the main road heading out to the mall I was overtaken with the beauty of each tree along the road, branches packed with clumps of glistening snow, against the bright azure blue of sky. I found myself looking around and had to consciously bring my awareness back to driving. Yes, I thought about my camera, but the thought was fleeting and then gone. Truth is, it wasn’t even an issue. I breathed in the beauty around me in that moment, and breath by breath it all became a part of me.

As a photographer it’s an insane proposition to be without a camera, never mind choosing to leave it at home. But this experience made me realize even more that the Soul doesn’t take pictures. There are no snap shots to keep memories. The Soul isn’t the least concerned with keeping memories of each event in that way. It’s truly a limitation of what we are in our essence.

When I take a photo I’m so intent on getting the right settings, the right lighting, and the right elements together to make the perfect memory to last forever. And then when I get home I manipulate the photo even further digitally to enhance it. Now, I’m not saying at all that I’m going to stop this process. This in itself is a passion and wonderful form of art. But I am very aware that this is only one way to appreciate the beauty around us.

The Soul, on the other hand, sees a scene, a snap shot of life, appreciates the beauty in it in that moment, and the releases it the colors and material scenery. Being obsessed with capturing it on film or a digital file is Human. It’s being more preoccupied with the process than just simply enjoying the moment.

There have been many times in my life when I chanced by a scene or event that I wished that I had a camera with me. One time I drove home for lunch and there was some fantastic fog playing in a golf course in the valley below the road. I did bring my camera back to work, and stopped on the way to take a picture. It had changed, but the beauty was still there. I got out of my car and found a safe position at the side of the road, mindlessly turned on the camera and focused on the view below me. Nothing. No focus. No click. Only then did I realized my batteries were dead. I’ll just say I wasn’t too impressed. But I mentally imprinted that scene into my mind’s eye.

The colors have faded over the years and the details are gone, but if I close my eyes, and breathe myself back into that moment, my Soul can fill in the missing pieces. I can see the hills in the distance with the fog dancing around each mound, each tree, and sparkling with a diamond dust in the shimmer of the afternoon sun. In fact, I can zoom in and join in the dance with each frozen particle of air if I choose. I can smell the elements and almost feel them light upon my fingers as I stir the fog with my hands. You just don’t get that kind of experience from a photograph. Not usually.

That is what the Soul desires. These moment-by-moment expressions of life, the beauty in a flower or the roar of a wave on the ocean. Simply breathing in the moment and making it a part of you is what the Soul desires. The immediate reaction of fiddling with equipment and losing the luminance of the moment is not.

Next time you see a sunset filtering through birch trees or baby birds in a nest take a moment to become aware of your Soul. Feel into the energy and feeling of the moment. Draw it in with your breath and make it a part of you. You created this moment for you. Forget about grabbing your camera. You may miss the mama bird feed her smallest baby a worm, or the flock of geese making their way across the gold and purple hues of dusk. These moments don’t repeat, but the Soul keeps the feeling and passion of each.

Hug yourself with a Soul Moment.

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