Archive for March, 2016

I’ve danced with spiders all my life. I rather enjoyed sharing a bedroom in the basement with many when I was younger. We lived, and survived, together. Of course, it’s also been a dance of “kill the spider/save the spider/kill the spider/save the spicer” as the pendulum arm swings back and forth. If there is a reason to kill it, then kill it, though I admit to watching a lovely black widow quickly walk up the cul-de-sac heading for the bushes, deciding to let it be. Yes, that’s one I would normally “do something with” but I wasn’t prepared, I had no jar – we have a critter jar handy now for such tasks in the house – and it just seemed mean and unjust. She was so amazing I couldn’t even fathom stepping on her.

Now if it’s a beautiful spider that’s not doing any (potential) harm, then I admire her grace and, if lucky, her artwork as well. And what about “baby” spiders. Yes, yes. I know they can bite and be quite venomous too, but there is something different about them. They’re cute. Small and cute. (I see you rolling your eyes…)

Today I saw one such cute spider. To be honest she wasn’t that small, but had sprouted long legs. And she was scooting across the bathroom floor as I was ready to step into the shower. That said critter jar was only a few steps away – on the other side of the door, and did I mention I was naked? I grabbed a square of toilet paper and let her climb on.

The amazing thing is she didn’t even flinch. Yes, my inner macro photographer loved that imagery. I wonder how many eyes she would had to flinch cartoonishly. But lets get back to the story. Instead, she just kept up her pace of one leg after another after another onto the square. And she kept going. There was a faith in her that surprised me, or perhaps an innocence.

But now what? What do I do with her? I muttered something under my breath that I won’t repeat here as I opened the toilet seat and released the square of toilet paper into the bowl. Along with it fell the eight-legged little victim. No survivors.

As I stepped into the shower I felt like I betrayed her. She trusted this new potential that opened up to her, this flimsy toilet paper platform that could elevate her to new heights, or just as easily over to a new view entirely. She didn’t stop her pace in fear or defense, but kept moving ahead, trusting her environment as it lowered to her demise.

I guess this little one is very much like us on our journey, walking through life. Was she creating her potentials? One could argue for both yes and no. But as humans we are at an evolutionary level that allows us to become aware of our surroundings, be aware of what we choose, be aware of what we attract. This little one wasn’t at that level in the same way, driven by instinct. She was more like the unconscious human, walking, perhaps texting her gal pals, and just seeing where the winds (or t.p.) of life would take her.

Merrily walking in our little worlds, the human being, before waking up consciously, only sees one path, that one directly in front of the next step. That’s the linear life. Sure they may ask, beg and seek things from a deity, whomever that may be for each person. But in the end, they just trudge on in a mundane fashion, accepting what gets thrown at them, hoping for the best. And sometimes the unconscious human takes a step into a square piece of toilet paper that life puts in their way, for no other reason than because it’s there, as they see it. And the human keeps walking. Unlike our little spider, the little human might actually feel like they’ve been betrayed by that toilet paper. Or the one holding it.

But what would happen if that spider had flinched her eyes, blinking away the sleep from the night? Imagine if just one of her black orbs noticed a giant human hand holding the toilet paper, inviting her to step up. I think she would have stopped. In that moment she would have had the opportunity to make a choice. Should she march on? Or should she turn? Or attack? Now this whole experience would have been in her hands – or her eight tiny legs as it may be.

But she continued on her mission, whatever that was. Floating and drowning in the toilet, did she now feel like a victim? Did she believe she had been betrayed? I highly doubt it, but that is exactly how the unconscious human feels in such situations. More resilient to the water (yes it was clean), the human can tread water for quite some time, thinking about what just happened and making new decisions from there. And it have been the moment this human needed to snap out of it the human paralysis.

No more walking around in a daze. No more simply existing where everyone else is, just because it is what is. No more obeying another’s words because the human doesn’t hear their own. No more pretending to be a victim to outside forces. It’s time for a change in consciousness.

It’s time to wake up and watch the sunrise, feeling its warmth on the skin. Bathe in life, float in the luxurious breath that is drawn in with purpose and meaning. This is the beginning of being a conscious Human.

From there life doesn’t just happen to you. From the place of amazing awareness life serves you, in a partnership that will totally blow the little human’s mind!

This morning when I saw that spider I had no idea where the story would go. But I see it now as a reminder. No matter where we are on our journeys of awakening, we have all played the part of that spider.

The horror I felt in betraying it can be turned around, seen as a sacred respect in my heart for the little spiders everywhere. The one within me that brought me to where I am today, as well as all the little spiders I will encounter daily, no matter at what “level of awareness” they are. I honour each one of us. Truly, we can’t possibly know the where another is consciously. It is not for us to judge or even to question or understand. But to honour and love and respect.

If this little spider in the bathroom came to me with a reminder, this would be it. If you have further insights to what she may have to share, I’d love to hear them. All in our creation is here because we’ve allowed it, even put it there for some particular intent. Learn to see life in this way. It’s yours.

I honour the spider that played in my experience today. She may never know how famous she is now. But then again, maybe she does.  😉

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This can seem like a very, very long life. Does it feel like an even longer journey to awakening? To many it may. The trick is, and I’ll point this out right at the beginning, to find and embrace those things which excite you and bring you joy in each breath, each step. No, this is not how we simply survive. This is how we navigate. It’s these leaps of delight that take us from point to point to point. And here’s a little secret. The points aren’t always working upward, being higher or better. Sometimes they spiral down or zig zag. The direction is inconsequential. Following your ecstasy is the key. And I’ll emphasize your ecstasy . This isn’t anyone else’s journey but yours. Own it. Take pleasure in it.

Yes, you can stop reading here and you will have received everything I wanted to share. But I do hope you keep reading.

This past month has been one of going within, feeling into this, that, considering another aspect, coming up for air from time to time and then delving down again. The potentials that are showing up have tickled me. There are so many areas, call it research or integrating, that I have gained insights on for my own awareness and they bring blessings of many kinds. Sometimes I know these thoughts need to be shared and I will share them. Other times I don’t know if others are having the same experiences, and wonder what questions others would ask of me if they were free to. So I invite you to ask. If there is something you’d like to read my take on, please post it in the comments. If they are pertinent to share with everyone I will do so. And I do encourage your thoughts and insights in return.

It’s not like I have all the answers. Well, okay, I actually do. And so do you. Inside you have access to everything you could possibly desire to know, or remember. This also is part of our walk, learning to go within and finding these treasures, sculpted by the passion of our hearts’ joy. And it’s in conversation with each other that little gems may spark and come to life, starting us out on new ventures. The time for sleeping is done, metaphorically speaking. Now is the time to actively participate in life. In all manners of life.

So to answer the question “Am I there yet?” the answer is and always has been – Yes. And I am still experiencing how I’m getting there. Time is fluid, another truth I have been experiencing recently. I am both there now and still arriving, at the same time. It’s the expression of our individual songs that fill space with beautiful harmony. Even without words we know the meanings, the silent lyrics. This is but one line in my song. And when another sings along with me his or her own melody we create music that is literally out of this world.

We are cosmic. We are the fibers of creation itself, something unfathomable and still part of our truth. We will know when we’ve arrived “there”, and then another choice will appear, another potential. Like the Swarovski crystals in my header photo, we sparkle with many facets. They each have a different view of who we are, a distinctive color and reflection. Gazing into one feature alone only gives a partial perspective of who we are. Yet it’s through these individual understandings, that when they come together, that make up the entire crystal that we are. And then we see that we are all the crystals…but that’s one of those mystifying things we won’t go into now.

Embrace yourself. Embrace your crystalline being-ness. We are just coming into Spring in the northern hemisphere, and with Spring comes new life and growth. Plant. Water. Feed. We are growing ourselves. What that seed grows into can will have different leaves, flowers, and fruit at any given moment. Allow yourself to spread your glistening crystalline wings and see from above what you are becoming. You are a beautiful Being, perfect and created already in timelessness. We are there already. Now it’s up to each one of us to enjoy every moment in utter bliss and joy. That’s our strength. That’s our journey, and our mission, however that may be manifest for us personally. We are already there.

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