Archive for January, 2013

Whoo Hoo…We’re Here!

I had an experience last night. It all started hours before when Corey, our friend and I went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant. The food wasn’t the best, the typical battered and greasy cuisine, but the company was good. We shared stories and laughed.

Corey, as some of you may know, worked at a Native Band office years before we got together. He became well versed in their way of life and even learned enough Cree to communicate with the odd Kookum (Grandmother) he may still run into. Well, at dinner Corey shared with our friend his rendition of a Native pow-wow song, something along the lines of “she left me and won’t come back” in the old circle dance sound.

So here’s Corey singing, quietly enough, and our friend laughing with him, and me rolling my eyes. Heard this song too many times. But it was all done in humor. Until our friend said, “Just a moment”, followed by some rapid eye movement as she looked up over our heads. I finally figured out what she was meaning when I saw a Native family walk into the restaurant behind us. Corey and I couldn’t see them. But they heard his little tune…

So that’s the background. For the rest of our time in the restaurant I would glance over at their table, smiling at the kids, and notice one of the men staring at us. I knew he was annoyed with what he heard. He didn’t know it was in fun. He didn’t know we aren’t haters. He didn’t know my own children are status Metis. He just knew the older energy of separation and anger and without thought followed it.

We left there eventually and continued with our evening, and we had lots of fun. It was hours later when we had returned home and after a nice long soak in the tub where I was listening to part of the latest channel from Steve Rother, that suddenly felt sick. And I mean ill to my stomach. I couldn’t stand without feeling like I was going to bring everything back up I had eaten that night.

So I crawled into bed, shaking with chill, and breathing into my body and acknowledging the experience, allowing release of this sickness. I tried to sip ginger ale but it made me burp something very foul. I laid back and finished listening to the channel that included some very relaxing, what we Shaumbra call, merabhs. Basically a time apart from the wildness of life, a time set aside for me, to connect with my soul, breathing into potential, all balanced with soothing music.

During this listening I was breathing, not always easily because I was feeling sick, but it was very conscious. I found my hands caressing and cradling my very grotesquely bloated belly. I’d hold my hands wherever a pain was, loving the area, loving myself, and the pain would leave. I’d smooth my hands in a circular motion around my belly in just a gentle and passionate loving way, honoring my body in this moment. Still breathing. Holding love in my entire being for me. And by 3am I was finally feeling a release.

The funny thing is I knew it wasn’t the food or the coffee, or the bubble juice I may have ingested while modeling for our friend’s photos. I instinctively knew that this was a psychic attack from the Native man at the table. He was simply acting out of his fear and decades of learning, but he brought to me a great lesson. He reminded me that the older energies are indeed going to take notice of who is operating in the new. It will “fight” for its place. It will not give up. And I’ve experienced this in a new way now. And I’m damn proud of myself in my awareness of it all. It is awesome that I can see how much I’ve matured emotionally/energetically over the last 20 years, even in this last year!

The expression of who I am and my awareness of the new energies in me is amazing. The gift of this “attack” brought it home again that I am a Creator. I am a Healer. And I am responsible for how I “deal with” it all. I didn’t hide and sulk in a dark corner feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t attempt to send the attack back. I didn’t try to force or push the illness out. But rather I took time out for me. I honored my body, my space and the moment. I allowed the energies of this sickness to be released and transmute. It was all really very pleasant looking back at it.

We are now living in a new era. LIVING in grace. We have bridged an energy gap that even last year was difficult to imagine. The defining lines between dimensions are thinning and many entities are now noticing us with a new curiosity, peeking in to see us, trying to understand what’s shifted. And we may even be noticing them noticing us. It’s incredible really. And it’s exciting.

It can also be a little unnerving if we don’t remember what we know. And we are human after all, so we need to also have patience for ourselves. Still, as I am experiencing, there will be times where we sit back and realize how far we’ve come. It’s not only okay to congratulate ourselves, it’s essential that we do so. This is when we are aware of who we truly are, and that we are much more than the human identities that we see in the mirrors. It’s happening. And we are a vital part of it. Snaps for us!!

If you experience something less than wonderful, know that it too is simply an expression of energy. And one that you’ve created for yourself. Honor it, and honor YOU in it. It’s a wonderful time to be alive. Allow the love to flow into all your expressions. You are worth it!


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