Archive for November, 2011

Be Kind To Yourself

Time is pushing  us forward so quickly now it’s difficult to compute that it’s been more than a month since I last blogged.  Kauai is just a pleasant memory now, though I visit often through my photos.  And life around me continues.  This is not a negative.  It feels good even when I don’t know which way I’m spinning now.  Time speeding up is only half the story.  The other half is the energies that are moving us all along.  Have you felt this?  Sure, there can still be indecision and cloudiness at times, but the chaos has shifted into something more attuned to structure, foundation-building.  Can you feel that?

Since returning from the islands my schedule has been freakin’ busy with appointments, classes, workshops…  But now that’s all done, and I was looking forward this week to having some me time and the joy of planning out my next moves.  My calendar pages are freer moving forward, but still the energies are keeping me busy.  I was making perogies for Christmas dinner and it took me two days!  I was driving here and there with the kids, driving there to meet with my husband, driving, driving, driving.  Good thing I had spent a morning last week at the mechanic getting the van ready for all this traveling.   And while at home between driving I was perogying.  Haha  Again, I’m not judging all this activity one way or another.  It’s simply an observation.  We are moving ahead, being urged by our spirits perhaps, but always moving forward.

With this much activity happening, it’s sometimes hard to remember that our awareness is still expanding.  Just two years ago I was at a stand-still energetically.  I was stuck.  Stuck in my anger and I’d have to say depression as well.  When I looked at my life I was heading nowhere.  However, the real work at that time was happening just below the surface and I couldn’t see it.  Moving through that energy was difficult, though I didn’t realize there was movement occurring, and it finally came to an end.  Those were months of chaos and confusion.  Another dark night of the soul.  I believe many of us have gone through these times again and again, but we always pop back up and with a new awareness of ourselves.

There’s a different, subtle change now.  I still can’t exactly put my finger on it, but the shift is like a breath of fresh air.  And like the chaos before, the peace is more on the inside of things, but leaking out here and there.  It’s very difficult for me to define.  I know I’m moving, and in a direction that is appropriate for me.  I get glimpses of where I’m going, but the full picture is still taking shape.

And it’s so very wonderful!  Even the not-knowing can be a wonderful feeling.  At times I wish I knew it all, but there is a knowing of sorts when you have released the attachment to any outcome and just allow your perfection to bring in the right resources, people, and road maps to where you’re going.  It’s simply trusting the process, and trusting your Self.

That’s what I feel happening within me at this moment.  No more chaos, but structure.   I’ve been reconfiguring and now the skeletal system is being erected.  Soon the blood, organs, tendons and muscle of the new me will take shape and I’ll be able to see in the mirror what I look like.  Fully fitted with the wisdom and direction of my Soul.

So my advice to all of us right now is to be kind and loving to ourselves.  When we find that our self-talk is nagging, pointing out all our flaws and saying we’ll never ‘get it’, remember where that’s coming from.  It’s not coming from our Higher Selves.   In this moment, make a choice.  Choose to talk love and acceptance.  A little self-love will go a long way.


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