Archive for June, 2011

Masks of Me

I’ve become aware of something quite astounding about myself today.  As much as I don’t enjoy ‘playing’ games and being someone I’m not (never liked acting or playing charades either), I realized that I’m like a split personality right now.  I’m wearing two distinctive masks.  I’m not talking about Mom, daughter, writer, and such.  I’m talking about something more primal and to the core.  It feels like something with significant power to make me or break me.

As I sit and read the posts and blogs of friends, I see their happiness and joy as they share the good things they are experiencing. Seeing the perfection in simple things.  Sharing the large blessings that they are creating in their lives.  Things are working in wonderful order.  That makes me glad – for them.  But shouldn’t I be feeling the same as they are?  Sure, I can create those parking spots at a crowded mall in the middle of a Saturday and drive right into it, but where’s the BIG stuff?  Where are the DEEP and life changing moments like winning a lottery or having someone bless us with a house big enough for our family?  Okay, seriously, I’m being silly and human here, but it feels like everyone else on this path is ‘getting it’ except me.  (Hint:  That’s one of the masks speaking.)  Perhaps there are others in the same boat but who are keeping their thoughts to themselves.  Perhaps…

In truth, deep inside me I know and feel that I am that perfect soul that needs nothing to complete me.  When I become the Writer I am full of the wonders of Who I Am and can even see the perfection in the chaos all around.  I truly can as I tap into my Soul and create with the written word, or when I’m helping a hurting soul find her own Truth.  I come alive to my Essence.  It’s as real then for me as the keyboard I’m typing on now.  But then when it filters into my identity, something gets lost in the translation.  I am bombarded with disconnect.  I’m surrounded by doubt.  I have little physical gumption and strength, I’m tired and stressed out, and I have numerous reasons for feeling this way.  Nothing is fitting together.  Everything is in flux and I’m remaining in a flustered state.  These are the two Me’s at present, feeling a little mentally/spiritually schizophrenic. One face wearing the mask of peace and knowing on the inside, and another donning the mask of unsettled chaos that keeps everything jumbled in massive mess on the outside.

It all used to make sense.  My life was fulfilled.  My needs were taken care of.  I was sure of the world I lived in.   And the best part is I functioned well within both worlds – the metaphysical part of me and the 3D aspects.  I was balanced.  Don’t get me wrong.  I feel so alive in my spirit still.  But now my life only sometimes reflects the serenity I feel on those deeper levels.  And it’s hard to know which mask is more real at times – though the human identity of heaviness sure feels the most palpable.  So my moment of amazement today?  I realized that these two Me’s are vying for dominance.  They are the old world and the new world within ME.  Moments of the New are wonderful, but when the Old returns the pressure it creates is exhausting and heavy.

And suddenly it all makes sense again.  I’m the personification of the war of the worlds.  It’s true, you know.  They say that when we make a shift toward conscious awakening, we can’t go back.  We can never return to how it was before, the easy road, the road where all we had to do was read the signs and follow.  No.  This new world is filled with roads You create, and as you come up to a sign at the intersection, you suddenly have pens in your hands.  It’s your turn to create the sign posts.  You are now creating your life.  The memories of simply coming up to a sign and doing what it said are comfortable, but limiting.  And gone.  Releasing my karma, releasing my body template, becoming an energy mover, choosing the path of awakening, choosing to be the ‘designated ascendee’ as Tobias called us, choosing to be self-responsible – these are all the sign posts that I have written rather than following the old norm.  Has it been easy?  I don’t think any one of us can say it has on the Human level.  But the rewards are priceless, unless we can’t see them for the thick fog of the old world trying to roll in and make us forget.  At times even the conscious breath seems like a façade, going through the motions but not quite connecting to that inner sanctuary.

But that inner part of me can’t forget, nor can I go back to the old.  The new and the old are energetically pulling apart, and as they do the old is putting up a good fight.  There’s a dimensional shift occurring where my physical DNA and the body itself are changing to house this new Light Me that is coming in.  But the old body still wants dominance.  That’s the way of it.  That’s why I am feeling torn, worn and battered.  There has been no physical war, but I feel I’ve been through it already.

I have already made it to the other side.  I am ascended.  I am awakened.  I have arrived.  Remaining in the human existence, however, I am also feeling this battle wage in the energies around me and within other people in their stages of awakening.  And I understand that shift happens all around us.  But this battle is not mine.  The war has already been fought on my part.  These masks are not mine to choose between.  It’s is just a game.  The face that is Me is that of the Awakened One, which incidentally is identical to the face of my True Self. 

So in practical terms then, how do I remain true to Self?  Just keep on carrying on.  Yes, it’s that simple.  There is nothing to do differently.  There is nothing to change or fix or transplant.  As I continue experiencing my Self in all these ways, with each breath I take, with each moment of knowing, I am closing the gap between the two worlds.  The old within me naturally rises in vibration as it begins to look and feel and be like the New.  Effortlessly they are becoming One just as I am One.  It’s a reflection of Me.  It’s a reflection of the outside world around me as well.  So I will choose what brings me joy and happiness, and know that the rest is taking care of itself.  And when I choose to play such games wearing other masks, I do so recognizing they are for my entertainment only.  It is ME behind them shining my Light no matter what game is being played at the moment.


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Gaia Love, envelope me as I re-awaken the joy in my heart

Kwan Yin, hold my hand as I walk the steps I have placed before me

In trust I create this path

I must trust my Self as I take each step on the way

Raphael, speak words of peace

So I remember I am not alone and there is nothing to fear

Metatron – Yohum – be ever present as I hear My True Voice

Over all the confusion that is not mine

This day is a new beginning

One that rings clear with the clarion call of Gabrielle

A new breath

A new choice

A new Me


Yesterday was not a great day for me.  I found myself quite sensitive and emotional, and knew it was due to the energies outside and around me.  The star of my show was the coming lunar eclipse energy.   I seldom do well with building eclipse energies, but  I know they are wonderful times to create and explore potentials.  I have used them so in the past many times.  But I really felt the energies mounting up to the final show in a raw and sensitive manner this time around.  It was draining on me, and it clouded my reality.  While my personal energy was low and disempowering, others around me could feel into the potential the coming eclipse was offering.  My focus remained on the day, on the moment, and what was holding me down – namely finances.

It all weighed heavily.  It was just my perception of course, and I could have come out of the funk at any time – if I chose.  This is a great time to remember to be patient and compassionate with Self. 

As I lay in bed, just after midnight, ready for sleep to greet me, the little poem above began pulsing in my heart and vibrating on my lips.  I have many angelic Beings supporting me and loving me unconditionally.  They understand the journey I’ve begun, and they honor me for it, even when my Little Human self doesn’t remember my Grandness. 

Who am I?  What was this eclipse?  What are any of the energies swirling around?  I am consciousness!  And the energies and all they manifest are of my own making.  It’s that simple.  So how I choose to relate to them in each moment can be changed at any time.  I am that powerful.  I am not less than what I see and feel around me!  And neither are you.  At our very core we Are Consciousness.  How I was responding to the growing eclipse energies was a little cue for me to make a change in choice.  How will I respond to the energies that I seemingly have no control over?  Whether on a personal or universal scale, they are all just illusion, as are my reactions to them.   For me personally, this is a fantastic and fertile time to shift my perception of money and how my financial situation looks right now!  I can do that.

At around 12:23 this afternoon, Alberta time, the shadow of the Earth began its journey over the face of the moon.  In fact, at exactly 12:34 my attention was drawn out of the mechanicalness of the day.  And you know what?  I realized that my energy had shifted.  Though I was still tired, I wasn’t exhausted.  And my thoughts on money, family and such had shifted as well.  There is a new scent of change in the air.  And as the day progressed I felt more balanced energies surrounding me.  I can feel my body of consciousness balancing once again.  Tomorrow will be truer still to my authenticity.  As I breathe my whole Self in and allow it to expand into my 3D landscape, I choose to Be and trust.  I choose to create what serves me.  I choose to allow all these energies to flow and do their thing.  And I choose to allow even the energetic sensitivities and expressions I may entertain, as they point me to a great mirror where I can see my true reflection.

I invite you to re-read this song from my heart, above.  Read it for and to yourself.  You can read it every morning if you’d like, commiting yourself to You each day in a new consciousness, knowing that you are secure, you are safe, you are supported.  And you are You.  All the choices you make are for expression and experience.  Now with this remembrance, you and I can choose the grandest expressions that we can imagine – each day anew.  How wonderful is that!

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I Am a Standard of Expansion in New Energy

STANDARD – aka Guinea Pig, Lab Rat, Sucker.  All kidding aside though, to be a Standard is to go through something first and experience all that the situation has to offer, so that it may be an easier journey for those who follow.

This is what we, as Lightworkers and Shaumbra, have signed up for.  And at times I look at what I’m experiencing and wonder What the hell was I thinking?!  I remember as a young pre-school child I hated myself.  I must have.  I would bang my head on walls and bite my arms black and blue.  Even looking at the old family photos I see only sadness and emptiness in the eyes of the child that was me.  Now looking back as an adult, and one that’s expanding her consciousness, I see that child as one who came with great ambition, fantastic hope, and a real love for life on Earth.  But I soon realized the world around me was not the world I was hoping for.  There was hatred and war, violence and self-indulgence.  There was no Love like I remembered on the other side of Human life.  Where was the joy and freedom that I had just come from in the angelic realms?  I had made a mistake by coming back to Earth at this time.  That was what I must have been feeling, keeping it all inside and trying to get back to the Peace I had come from – or just punish myself for coming too early.  This was not the reality I expected.

While that’s not the Being I Am any longer, I believe it’s important to remember that place of darkness if only to not forget the many Humans in that very same state today.  To those who are still to awaken, or are at any early stage of remembering Who They Are, it can be a frightening time.  It can be filled with emotional turmoil and self-judgment.  Confusion.  Depression.  Angst.  There are many other symptoms of Awakening or Ascension, and any number of them can manifest at different times.  The awakening Soul may be wondering what’s happening to them.  Or feeling like they don’t belong, just as I did.  They may be considering taking their very lives in order to leave this existence.  They may be walking in a bewildered haze, not seeing the Light anywhere. 

But the Light is here.  The Light is Us.  I love this saying I heard not long ago, and I apologize for not remembering who coined it. 

“Pay close attention to the words you use when speaking to other people.

Consciousness is now ready to listen.”

Yes, times have shifted and human consciousness has indeed achieved much ground in raising its vibration.  Globally, there is more awareness of Who We Are, and our connection to our Planet as well.  There is a deeper understanding of our connection to the Universe.  We’ve come a long way, Baby.  And as more Human Angels begin to wake up to this awareness, many more will be looking to others to help guide them. 

We are the Standard, the Teachers, the Way-Showers.  That doesn’t mean we have all the answers that they may be seeking, but we all have the answers inside.  It’s the true Teacher that shows the Students they already have the Truth.  It’s not about handing them the answers, but assisting them in finding it within the wealth of Who They Are already. 

That’s what we have come here to do.  It’s not a command, nor is it our destiny.  But it was our choice, and if we choose to remain in this place of Standardship, then those who are ready will find us.  So in this time of great shifting and change, are we ready to meet them in Love and Truth?  Where they have fear, we can show them the Love that resides within them.  Where they are confused, we can share with them how we found our own clarity and peace. 

We are on the forefront of a wave of consciousness.  We may be walking blind into the experiences this wave is bringing, but we can also feel into it and know where we are going, and that all is well.  All of Humanity is riding this wave and heading in the same direction.  That direction is true Conscious connection with All That We Are, our Divine Light Selves in Human form.  As the First to go through this awakening, we pass down our experiences and understandings so that those coming after can ride the wave with ease.  We are offering a great gift to those to follow.  And they to those that follow them. 

So be encouraged that all we are going through is not in vain.  There are Human Angels and Angels in Waiting that are reaping the benefits of what we are living right now.  The aches and pains, the dizziness, the moments of depression, and more are only temporary as these shifts come in and are grounded through us.  Keep breathing and allowing the release of the old and grounding of the new.  And be a Light Standard for those around us.  It may be a smile or a word, or just our presence.  They will feel the shift within them. 

I will leave you with a song I wrote a few years back for the first Crimson Circle Ascension School.  I trust you will feel the energy of these words, and know them as your own.  Blessings to each of you beautiful Standards of Expansion in New Energy.



We are the First

We’ve been the nuns and priests in robes of fear

Converting young and old, it would appear

We’ve tangled webs with magik and in fraud

Yet we’ve also healed and blessed it all


The soldiers fighting life and limb for peace

And others still inspiring all the grief

The mother who lost all hope for her child

The father who was told he should not smile


We are the First, Shaumbra

We’ve lived it in every way

Tasting both fear and freedom

As we plunged into each overlay


We’ve been the followers of Truth and Light

We’ve waited for the timing to be right

To be the ones to forge a brand new way

That humankind will all walk some grand day


Each mission is as different

As the spirit within our eyes

Yet we have this thing in common

That driving force in all our lives

It’s the knowledge of something more

Than the stage on which we live

More than body and soul

We’re One – We are whole

Far beyond the feminine and the masculine…


We choose our every move and what we gain

Creating our desires day to day

In choosing life of ease and quality

We’re a Standard of true divinity


We are the First, Shaumbra

It’s the reason we live and breathe

Taking the first step to

Another reality

So others will see and follow

And take the leap beyond

Their path will be pure

The energy sure

Because we are the First

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My body aches.  My eyes ache.  I have a constant headache.   My joints ache.  I feel old when I walk, slowly and with precise movements so I don’t fall, especially down stairs.  I wake exhausted.  I remain exhausted all day long. I have little energy.  I’m too young to be feeling this way.  What is happening to me???

Does this sound familiar?  It’s been part of my reality for much of 2011.  I’ve asked myself often what this is all about.  But you know what?  There isn’t anything happening that isn’t a natural process.  And these aches and pains, and confusion, are simply symptoms of something occurring both inside and without, on a grander scale than my mind can comprehend at present.

What we all need to remember in these times is…

 There is nothing wrong with us

and this is a natural process

We would have to be burying our heads in a really deep hole if we haven’t heard talk about 2012, the End Times, Dooms Day, etc.  There is much happening in our times right now, and there are many prophecies one can find in regards to them.  My intent here is not to rehash the prophecies or to offer other versions from what’s out there.  But there is indeed something happening.   And it’s occurring to each and every one of us, whether we understand it or even realize it’s happening at all. 

This truly is an end of an era.  Our past was filled with being governed, controlled, manipulated and dumbed-down as the general People of Earth.  We have been brainwashed to believe that we are separate entities, and are made of separate parts, some parts being raised up on pedestals (like intellect and strength) while  others are knocked to the ground with abandon (like compassion and trusting Self).  That time is quickly coming to an end.

We are at the beginning of a grand time of coming back together, of reunited all our parts and pieces.  It’s a time where we are again remembering Who We Are and integrating what we’ve forgotten about.  Our DNA is awakening and expanding.  Our mind is remembering its divine reason for being.  Our Spirit is returning to be part of this whole Human Being.  And our body is expanding and changing with all this shifting around.  And that’s why it’s responding as it is. 

Our body is a smaller version of our planet Earth.  We’re even made of the same elements.  Isn’t it amazing how the presence of Consciousness can transform dirt and stone?  As without so within.  As Gaia is shifting we are shifting also.  As Her body moves and groans and quakes, so is ours.  We are even responding to universal changes like solar storms and flares.  Our physical bodies are expanding and changing so that it can integrate and hold more energy, more new Light energy.  This is the new era.  This is a natural process.  We can trust this process for we’ve allowed it into our reality, we’ve chosen to be here NOW for this amazing journey.  But we can also take it a step farther from trust.  We can know that all is well. 

As I am writing this blog entry I get a phone call and then I’m put on hold.  The song I hear from the other end of the line is “Please Release Me, Let me Go…” and I’m reminded of another element in this process.  Some of us have consciously released our old body templates.  In this act of conscious release, we are allowing our bodies to evolve, becoming Light Bodies.  If this intrigues you I encourage you to check out the information that The Group (through Steve Rother) is bringing in (http://lightworker.com/beacons/).  Again, this is totally natural and every Human on Earth will experience it.  However, some have consciously chosen to accelerate this process.  And there are many, many physical symptoms of this releasing of the human templates.  As we are all different, we will all experience these symptoms in a personal, individual way. 

The Group uses the term Light Grounding in relation to assisting us in these changes.  Light Grounding is as simple as being authentic, and grounding your desires and needs into your life.  Being real, being truthful to yourself and honestly sharing yourself with the World around you.  Breathwork is another method of grounding the Light in our bodies, as is toning and gentle exercise like walking.  When I was conversing with The Group one night they gave me another ‘exercise’ to help me ground the Light within me.

They guided me to see a color, whatever came naturally to my inner vision.  For that moment it happened to be a light sky blue for me.  Breathe your color in, and really feel into it.  Take as much time as you feel you need to experience this fully.  Then allow it to transform into a double of your body – your crystalline body.  Breathe this colourful crystalline body in, see it, feel it, and be fully aware of it being your body.  The Light will ground itself in your physical being, and expand into your entire Being.  I experienced this color differently throughout this time of quiet contemplation.  Sometimes it was brilliant and vibrant, other times it was a matrix-like substance.  Once it became the crystalline body it was easy to breathe and work with.  Perhaps this will also assist you in your process.

There is no question that we are undergoing some major evolutionary changes, and the body is a big area where we will express and experience these shifts.  Breathe with your body and feel the new energies grounding into your whole Self.  Take compassionate care of yourself on all levels, and definitely be patient and know that all is as it should be.  Remember that all those around you may be experiencing like symptoms and not knowing what’s happening.  Have compassion on them as well.  We’ve taken a huge leap in consciousness, and there are bound to be reactions as we quake and shimmy into the newness of what we’re becoming. 

Breathing together…

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With all the changes in the world, is there a place where we can find safety and even sanity?  You bet.  There is such a place, and it is as personal as each of us individually.  It’s what I like to call the safe space and we can create it!  When people, situations and energies around us are going crazy it is a very simple choice to enter into our sacred space.

This is a point of presence, not physical but it does come with some physical benefits, where we can find peace, balance, nurturing, and knowing we’re safe from outside energies.  That is one polarity of this sacred space.  The other is that in this place we can choose to take responsibility for ourselves and our lives, and consciously manifest from the yet unseen potentials we have created.  In other words, if our world around us doesn’t look like what we would choose, we can recognize, from our safe place, that we have chosen this on some level, and then choose to create another reality from the safety of our inner sanctum.

Sound good?  So how do we create and access this precious place?  I’ll introduce you to this inner space, but do remember that what you create is your creation – it’s not mine.  You can change it as you choose, and use it as you choose.  It will expand with you.  This is only an introduction to it. 

To begin, find a quiet position and make sure you are comfortable – whatever this means to you.  I would encourage you to close your eyes, but you are currently reading this.  So when doing conscious breathwork on your own, please indulge in the pleasure of having your eyes closed.  Your eyes are a wonderful sensory tool when operating in this world, but right now we are going on a bit of a vacation from the life around us.  This time is for you and you alone.

As you remain still, you will notice a shift in your breathing.  It’s smooth.  It’s easy.  Without the distractions around you, you can now truly feel into your breath.

You will also notice that with each new breath you take in, your mind will get quieter and quieter.  It is going into a restful state.  Another benefit of the conscious breathing is that you disengage from your mind.

The mind is not a bad thing, but when your mind is at rest, you awaken to your more essential Being-ness.  Call it your soul, true self, spirit or higher self, through conscious breathwork you are becoming more aligned to this subtle, purer part of your Being.  As you continue breathing in awareness of your Self, your mind may start chatting.  Remember, it’s not the enemy.  The mind has been overworked and over-stimulated.  This time of rest and quiet is confusing to the mind for it has been told to always be alert and active, to always be prepared.  It’s not used to you taking an active role in your life as you are going through this moment of conscious breathing.  So it may start to analyze, to think, to break this process down. 

But now you are ready to tell it something new.  In your quiet space, gently assure your mind that it is okay to have a break.  Your inner spirit is waking up and all is okay.  The more you breathe consciously like this the more your mind will naturally quiet and relax, and itself reap the benefits of these times.  So keep your conscious breath flowing steadily, bless your mind and allow it to relax. 

As you continue to breathe with awareness, you will fall into a natural rhythm that is in perfection all your own.  Allow the flow of air to move in and out, gently and freely.  Do not force the breath.  Allow yourself to yawn if you feel it coming.  It is all in perfection.

Sit in this moment and rest into it.  Follow your breath as it fills your belly and chest, and as it gently flows out again.  Feel how your toes tingle with the energy you are welcoming.  Feel the cells of your body and their dance with this energy.  Your heart, lungs, legs, ears, kidneys and every part of your physical body responds to this energy.  As you breathe with such an awareness, you are welcoming sparkling new energy into your body, and as you exhale it expands into your entire essence.  Conscious breathing is truly a dance between yourself and your divine consciousness.

As you sit in this complete peaceful existence, and your breath naturally flows gently and surely, you are now in your sacred space.  This is your centre, your cache of balance, your platform for creation, for change.  Potentials will find you here.  Welcome them in if you chose.  Only what you choose to join you in your safe space can enter.  It is your place of safety, emotional and psychic.

This space is here for you to allow expansion into who you truly are.  It’s here for you to empower creative exploration.  You can breathe new energy into your potentials and creations form this space.  You can move through chaotic and confused energies from this space.

In this sacred space there is no limitation of time.  You can remain in this space as long as you choose.  You can even remain in this inner space while you continue with your everyday living, remaining aware of your balance and perfection.  In fact, as you experience chaos and shift around you, either directly or indirectly, you can remain in your peace and inner beauty and none of the swirling energies on the outside can penetrate.  It is your house of safety in these times.  It is from within this space that you can choose to ground in the newness of your spirit, of the goodness of what’s coming, of your passions and creations. 

Breathe gently and with confidence.  And when you are ready, become aware again of your body.  Breathe awareness into your limbs and face, your torso and sense the energies that are yours all around you.  Do not be surprised if you can feel them expanded farther than you would imagine.  You have experienced a shift during this breathwork.  And remember, this is your sacred space, where you can come anytime you choose.

When we hear of disasters in other countries or witness devastation right in our own neighbourhoods, we can remain in our inner sanctuary of peace and safety.  This is a divine tool we have created for ourselves.  It would be a shame if it was sitting in our tool boxes and we didn’t know it was there.  So I share this wisdom with you.  I hope you get to know your sacred place of peace and use it.  As this is only an introduction to this space, I also encourage you to find yourself there often, and expand this tool and make it your own.  The conscious breath is powerful and vital in creating the world we choose to live in.

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