For those of us that have already started walking the path of awareness, awakening, we know that everything that exists in our reality has one purpose. It is here purely for our enlightenment. This includes people, situations, “lessons”, feelings, beliefs, careers, etc. This includes conspiracies. Whether it’s about chemtrails, aliens, money, events or whatever, it’s there in your awareness to assist you with your enlightenment. I’ve been sitting with this for quite some time now, and feel this is the moment to share.

Here I have to say that if you have never found a conspiracy to enter into your life in any way, then you have not agreed to this way of opening up, raising your vibration. You have chosen other means. But for those of us that have, I will continue.

What is a conspiracy? Many people will first scream our “bunk” or “bullshit” or “lies to distract”, and it could in fact be this. I just Googled the word now, and found…”a secret plan by a group to do something unlawful or harmful”. Really? While this is the pure meaning of the word, it’s not accurate in this world anymore. That’s pulp culture, and need I add in fear-based. After all, it’s based on “conspire”, right? Okay, many conspiracies do succumb to this definition, but many are shared by whistle blowers. Who of us would not have wanted Edward Snowden to share what he knew? He was a “conspiratist”, one who raised the alarm bells and shared information. And he brought into public view some very pertinent information that has allowed many more beliefs and actions to be freed. But let’s take a step back.

Everything in our awareness has been put there by our Selves for the purpose of awakening, for uniting our entire Beingness in the body here and now.

So with everything I hear, see, feel, sense, I allow a deeper understanding to flow in through this gift, this vehicle of “conspiracy”. To do anything more human, like resist or fight a battle against it, is to throw the gift we’ve given ourselves in the trash bin.

There is a conspiracy, or idea, that we are living in a different reality than we used to. I’ve heard it called the Mandela Effect. This is where people remember things one way but by all means of searching and “proof” it’s never been that way here. The name sake example is that many of us, me included, remember Mandela dying many years ago while in prison. But in this reality he died only in 2013. Now, this could be faulty memory, or rumour based.

There is another name for this phenomenon. The Berenstein Effect. This one got me before I knew it was a “thing”. My kids read these books. We owned them. We read them together. I can see it in my mind’s eye, from the characters to the letters on the book covers. Then about seven or eight years ago I noticed something strange. The name was not Berenstein, as I would have bet money on, but Berenstain. A simple letter change, but was I losing my marbles? I figured I was remembering wrong and let it go.

Then I started to hear of other examples. Mandela being one. Oscar Meyer? No, Oscar Mayer – and this one still bothers me as I can “see” it spelled Meyer when I engage my memory. Sex AND the City. Interview with THE Vampire. These are some examples I have personally wondered about. And then I met the Mandela Effect “conspiracy”.

Why all these changes in the way I remember things? Well, as stated already it could be the way the brain/memory works. In fact, there is a burst of articles talking about just that in the recent few years, saying that our memories ARE faulty, and by design. Perhaps a way “they” are making this easier for us to swallow? LOL Anyway, the biggest reason whistleblowers out there are giving for this phenomenon is CERN and the Large Hadron Collider. It’s said that they’ve opened up a black hole and we’ve jumped into another time loop.

I know we ARE shifting timelines, as we shift our awareness and vibration. It’s a very natural process, and one that is both individual and collective. It’s something more metaphysical that’s flowing into the physical. Are the scientists at CERN trying to duplicate it and take us back to a timeline of war and fear? Or in an effort to save humanity? Or is there anything pertinent at CERN at all? It doesn’t matter.

The whole point of this is to say that there IS something happening. In me. An awareness that this conspiracy has helped open up. There was a day a while back when it was just obvious to me. If we have jumped a dimension, how is it that many of us are remembering things differently?

Ah, it’s consciousness. That’s the key and the lock itself. You know those moments you know something but can’t explain it? Well this is one. This body isn’t who I am. I am fully aware that this body is only a radio through which I receive signals and experiences things in. But the true essence of ME is not the body. How would I know if my body had changed by shifting a reality? I probably wouldn’t except for my conscious awareness. And again, many aren’t yet waking up to their consciousness, but as more and more of us are, so is mass consciousness This was the gift in this Mandela Effect moment for me. Bringing this understanding of consciousness from a mental believe to a true realization.

So with all this talk about transhumanism, which is another conspiracy to many, it’s the same concept. We are consciousness. It doesn’t matter if we are in a biologically created/evolved body or something that was created using schematics and lab instruments…hmmm things have come full circle. What has continued to be basic and foundational is our consciousness. It works with whatever body it has agreed to conjoin with.

And in this time we are in where many are awakening to their true essence, it’s even great in scope. We can be in perfect integration with the body now and fully awake in the Soul.

It’s not for us to toss aside things that show up on our radar simply because we don’t like to hear it. Unless we aren’t ready to receive. But when we are ready, there are some fantastic realizations and leaps in store.


Scrubby Trubbles

You know that moment when you either want to slap something silly or burst out laughing? Well, that’s what happened to me yesterday. I chose to laugh out loud. After all, hitting the object of my inspiration would have hurt me.

Ever wash dishes? Ever scrubbed them with a brush? Ever seen one of Screen Shot 2016-04-29 at 4.15.22 PMthese little guys, that sit on your counter by way of a teeny tiny suction cup? I have fought with these things for ever! I don’t know if Ikea is the only supplier of such beasts, but this also didn’t come with a manual. I have tried wetting the surface, drying the surface, gently pushing down on the suction cup, and downright slamming it on the counter. The crazy little gizmo would look at me and say, “Nah, not gonna let you succeed.” And it would drop into the sink with a thud. Or worse, into a sink full of water, splashing me with water and hysterical enjoyment.

Well last night I used the brush, put it on the edge of the sink and do you know what it had the audacity to do? It fell, suction cup first, and ever so simply secured itself to the bottom of the rinse sink. Just like the last tumbler of a lock gliding smoothly into place, it stood there waiting for my response. Yeah, I had no option but to laugh at the little bugger.

My Dad was curious at what I was laughing about, and I told him. He picked up the scrubby buddy and just let go again, and that thing stood to attention again, not so much mocking me now. I was getting the message.

Why does it take a human so long to really shift into something new. Well, the shift is painless and instantaneous, but the little bit before when the mind is still struggling with letting go, the battle can seem eternal. Like my fight with the scrubber brush.

Again this is all about allowing. Not trying to force things to happen. Not controlling the outcome. Simply allowing and letting go. When we trust, the natural response happens effortlessly. Things just click into place, as they say, and the struggle is gone. Actually, the struggle has never existed.

Thought of the day:
I trust and allow myself to be exactly “where” and “when” appropriate to manifest into my reality all that I already am.

That may be a little abstract, but let it be. It’s the mind that needs to understand it, but the essential part of us already does.

By the way, it really does work. Just release. My new slogan.

What Is Allowing?

Here’s another question. Would it kill high school students to be, I don’t know, POLITE and RESPECTFUL?

I pulled into a parking spot at my daughter’s high school, but it wasn’t a pretty moment. Actually it was a bit of a noisy operation as I heard my front tire squeal in objection, pulling a tad big too close to the curb as I turned in. I was not centered in my spot, but I was straight. A fact I was reminded of when I eventually pulled out of the parking stall. Straight is what mattered, and I most certainly wasn’t blocking anyone out of his or her vehicle to my right.

And still it seems I ruined some young lass’s home time. She was cursing as she walked between our two vehicles with her backpack strapped on, banging her water bottle the passenger door of my van in the process. And you bet I heard her calling me a bitch, she didn’t restrain her voice. And then she continued to complain to her friends heading to their own vehicles as she goes around to the other side of her SUV to get in from the passenger side. Ah, a wee bit of overkill? Drama queens. Gotta love ‘em.

Yes, I did get her licence plate number. Alberta registration. Wonder how long they’ve been in BC without getting new registration for this province? Should I file a complaint? To who? Would they even care? Someone might care if they have been in BC for more than three months and got caught… But not the authorities, I was sure of that. I’ve witnessed stupid road rage in high school parking lots before, and a lot worse than this. This was not of the same calibre, but I wanted to stand up for myself, and show this not-quite-a-child-any-longer but not-yet-a-grown-woman that it’s really not that cool to act in such a manner. In fact it’s quite immature. After all, one day she would need to learn to be respectful and responsible. Hell, one day she may even have kids of her own. What kind of role model will she be for them.

But it wasn’t my job to parent her. It did, however, get me thinking about this thing called “allowing”. Again. It’s been something I’ve been allowing and mentally working through for quite some time.

Allowing what? Allowing others to walk all over me? To let them have control over me? To let them take advantage of me? No. Allowing has nothing to do with another person at all!

Allowing is about one person alone. That’s the one peeking back at me when I look into the mirror. Allowing is so simple. And allowing is the most difficult thing to get a grasp on for the human. And I’m still walking “human” a lot it seems.

When one is ready to let go of controlling a situation and simply trusting, one is ready for allowing. No control. No drama. No uneasy feeling inside at all. No listening to what others say you should do. No reacting because it’s what others say is best.

It’s a tough place to be, this place of allowing. It can be very difficult because others around us will want to get their say in, their way in, dictate from their filters. That’s when the battle with the mind gets stronger, even once a decision is made to allow. Once that choice is made, suddenly all the creepy crawlies from past experiences and even self-empowerment books will come and say we’re doing it all wrong.

This itself is a journey. We choose to allow. Congratulations. We even win some battles with friends and family. Kudos. This process is one I think we should call a practice. You know, like the joke about doctors having a medical practice because they’re still learning, getting it right… Allowing is a pathway of practice. But with each time we just rest in allowing the stronger we get.

And this strength, again, is not mental or human in any way. This strength is found somewhere deeper. That’s why people on the outside see it as a weakness, perhaps, because they can’t see the blossoming occuring within us. Sure, some say they can. Even most intuitives don’t feel into the pureness of of the soul as they will sense things with their own filters. This is never about them anyway. And here is another opportune area we can practice allowing.

So how can we tell when we are truly in allowing? Let’s find another word for this to gain some insight. Freedom. Allowing and freedom are both truly attitudes. It’s where we find ourselves once we have truly forgiven ourselves for the lack that is in truth impossible, because One is our core essence. And within One there can not be any lack of any kind. It’s when we are at a place without need for controlling anything, that simple trust that it all comes to us, already and always. It’s the freedom we feel when there is nothing hanging over us, and there is no need to defend ourselves because defensive measures simply aren’t in our experience of living.

Sound like something only a yogi or monk can achieve? I can’t answer for them, but I do know that it’s really nothing to achieve at all. Allowing is who we are. That is, before we succumbed to humanity’s ways of absence and imprisonment. Or should I say, surrendered our divine freedom in order to be accepted, safe, supported, and all from the outside.

True, these things can be very important to the human trying to survive. But our priorities are all screwed up. And trying to climb up the rungs by way of carrying others and their possessions (beliefs) on our backs will only break us and bring us more struggle, something that is foreign to our very essence. That was never the way it was meant to be.

Allowing feels like you are the centre of the universe. Guess what. You ARE! I invite you to see yourself, right now, as your universe. That’s it. There is no one else. There is nothing holding your back or tethering your down. There is only you. Sense that. Let every one of your pre-determined beliefs be free for a while, just let them wonder on their own – they won’t go far I promise – and feel into your sole solidarity. Your Oneness. Feel yourself floating on a calm sea of Love, of trust, of absolute Being-ness. You lack for nothing in this state. Everything comes to you as you conceive the thought of it. Why? Because it’s already there. It is already part of you. How awesome is this Light-ness? There is only joy and bliss and peace and fullness.

Sit in this energy for as long as you want. This is yours. It’s not something I conjured up with my words. What you are feeling is what your state of allowing feels like in this moment. And it’s pretty simple.

And then enters those beliefs, and other humans. Life does continue. Challenges are relentless. Lessons are tough and memories are dug up from the ashes, at least until we are in a constant state of allowing, an endless awareness of our essence.

I won’t pretend I have it. I struggle daily. I’ve had awesome highs, and some great lows with many tears and frustrated discussions with friends that have transcended to deeper levels of allowing already. I am thankful for these people in my life for they urge me on. Those levels don’t look like anything strong or powerful to others, but then that doesn’t matter. It’s not their experiential journey. And theirs isn’t mine. And that’s a basic place to begin with your allowing. Allow yourself to just be in your free state of being, one experience at a time.

Allowing is a backbone of awakening to who we are on the flip side of this human identity. Take the plunge. Trust your Self. Trust your universe to take you deeper than you’ve ever gone before into Soul essence.

In the end, it doesn’t matter how far or how close we park from others’ vehicles, they will always play the power game until they allow themselves also. What we do in the quiet of our sacred hearts ripples out to the other souls sharing this same dimension. Yet, they are not why we are here. Not initially. So be all you are, and allow all you are.

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I’ve danced with spiders all my life. I rather enjoyed sharing a bedroom in the basement with many when I was younger. We lived, and survived, together. Of course, it’s also been a dance of “kill the spider/save the spider/kill the spider/save the spicer” as the pendulum arm swings back and forth. If there is a reason to kill it, then kill it, though I admit to watching a lovely black widow quickly walk up the cul-de-sac heading for the bushes, deciding to let it be. Yes, that’s one I would normally “do something with” but I wasn’t prepared, I had no jar – we have a critter jar handy now for such tasks in the house – and it just seemed mean and unjust. She was so amazing I couldn’t even fathom stepping on her.

Now if it’s a beautiful spider that’s not doing any (potential) harm, then I admire her grace and, if lucky, her artwork as well. And what about “baby” spiders. Yes, yes. I know they can bite and be quite venomous too, but there is something different about them. They’re cute. Small and cute. (I see you rolling your eyes…)

Today I saw one such cute spider. To be honest she wasn’t that small, but had sprouted long legs. And she was scooting across the bathroom floor as I was ready to step into the shower. That said critter jar was only a few steps away – on the other side of the door, and did I mention I was naked? I grabbed a square of toilet paper and let her climb on.

The amazing thing is she didn’t even flinch. Yes, my inner macro photographer loved that imagery. I wonder how many eyes she would had to flinch cartoonishly. But lets get back to the story. Instead, she just kept up her pace of one leg after another after another onto the square. And she kept going. There was a faith in her that surprised me, or perhaps an innocence.

But now what? What do I do with her? I muttered something under my breath that I won’t repeat here as I opened the toilet seat and released the square of toilet paper into the bowl. Along with it fell the eight-legged little victim. No survivors.

As I stepped into the shower I felt like I betrayed her. She trusted this new potential that opened up to her, this flimsy toilet paper platform that could elevate her to new heights, or just as easily over to a new view entirely. She didn’t stop her pace in fear or defense, but kept moving ahead, trusting her environment as it lowered to her demise.

I guess this little one is very much like us on our journey, walking through life. Was she creating her potentials? One could argue for both yes and no. But as humans we are at an evolutionary level that allows us to become aware of our surroundings, be aware of what we choose, be aware of what we attract. This little one wasn’t at that level in the same way, driven by instinct. She was more like the unconscious human, walking, perhaps texting her gal pals, and just seeing where the winds (or t.p.) of life would take her.

Merrily walking in our little worlds, the human being, before waking up consciously, only sees one path, that one directly in front of the next step. That’s the linear life. Sure they may ask, beg and seek things from a deity, whomever that may be for each person. But in the end, they just trudge on in a mundane fashion, accepting what gets thrown at them, hoping for the best. And sometimes the unconscious human takes a step into a square piece of toilet paper that life puts in their way, for no other reason than because it’s there, as they see it. And the human keeps walking. Unlike our little spider, the little human might actually feel like they’ve been betrayed by that toilet paper. Or the one holding it.

But what would happen if that spider had flinched her eyes, blinking away the sleep from the night? Imagine if just one of her black orbs noticed a giant human hand holding the toilet paper, inviting her to step up. I think she would have stopped. In that moment she would have had the opportunity to make a choice. Should she march on? Or should she turn? Or attack? Now this whole experience would have been in her hands – or her eight tiny legs as it may be.

But she continued on her mission, whatever that was. Floating and drowning in the toilet, did she now feel like a victim? Did she believe she had been betrayed? I highly doubt it, but that is exactly how the unconscious human feels in such situations. More resilient to the water (yes it was clean), the human can tread water for quite some time, thinking about what just happened and making new decisions from there. And it have been the moment this human needed to snap out of it the human paralysis.

No more walking around in a daze. No more simply existing where everyone else is, just because it is what is. No more obeying another’s words because the human doesn’t hear their own. No more pretending to be a victim to outside forces. It’s time for a change in consciousness.

It’s time to wake up and watch the sunrise, feeling its warmth on the skin. Bathe in life, float in the luxurious breath that is drawn in with purpose and meaning. This is the beginning of being a conscious Human.

From there life doesn’t just happen to you. From the place of amazing awareness life serves you, in a partnership that will totally blow the little human’s mind!

This morning when I saw that spider I had no idea where the story would go. But I see it now as a reminder. No matter where we are on our journeys of awakening, we have all played the part of that spider.

The horror I felt in betraying it can be turned around, seen as a sacred respect in my heart for the little spiders everywhere. The one within me that brought me to where I am today, as well as all the little spiders I will encounter daily, no matter at what “level of awareness” they are. I honour each one of us. Truly, we can’t possibly know the where another is consciously. It is not for us to judge or even to question or understand. But to honour and love and respect.

If this little spider in the bathroom came to me with a reminder, this would be it. If you have further insights to what she may have to share, I’d love to hear them. All in our creation is here because we’ve allowed it, even put it there for some particular intent. Learn to see life in this way. It’s yours.

I honour the spider that played in my experience today. She may never know how famous she is now. But then again, maybe she does.  😉

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Am I There Yet?

This can seem like a very, very long life. Does it feel like an even longer journey to awakening? To many it may. The trick is, and I’ll point this out right at the beginning, to find and embrace those things which excite you and bring you joy in each breath, each step. No, this is not how we simply survive. This is how we navigate. It’s these leaps of delight that take us from point to point to point. And here’s a little secret. The points aren’t always working upward, being higher or better. Sometimes they spiral down or zig zag. The direction is inconsequential. Following your ecstasy is the key. And I’ll emphasize your ecstasy . This isn’t anyone else’s journey but yours. Own it. Take pleasure in it.

Yes, you can stop reading here and you will have received everything I wanted to share. But I do hope you keep reading.

This past month has been one of going within, feeling into this, that, considering another aspect, coming up for air from time to time and then delving down again. The potentials that are showing up have tickled me. There are so many areas, call it research or integrating, that I have gained insights on for my own awareness and they bring blessings of many kinds. Sometimes I know these thoughts need to be shared and I will share them. Other times I don’t know if others are having the same experiences, and wonder what questions others would ask of me if they were free to. So I invite you to ask. If there is something you’d like to read my take on, please post it in the comments. If they are pertinent to share with everyone I will do so. And I do encourage your thoughts and insights in return.

It’s not like I have all the answers. Well, okay, I actually do. And so do you. Inside you have access to everything you could possibly desire to know, or remember. This also is part of our walk, learning to go within and finding these treasures, sculpted by the passion of our hearts’ joy. And it’s in conversation with each other that little gems may spark and come to life, starting us out on new ventures. The time for sleeping is done, metaphorically speaking. Now is the time to actively participate in life. In all manners of life.

So to answer the question “Am I there yet?” the answer is and always has been – Yes. And I am still experiencing how I’m getting there. Time is fluid, another truth I have been experiencing recently. I am both there now and still arriving, at the same time. It’s the expression of our individual songs that fill space with beautiful harmony. Even without words we know the meanings, the silent lyrics. This is but one line in my song. And when another sings along with me his or her own melody we create music that is literally out of this world.

We are cosmic. We are the fibers of creation itself, something unfathomable and still part of our truth. We will know when we’ve arrived “there”, and then another choice will appear, another potential. Like the Swarovski crystals in my header photo, we sparkle with many facets. They each have a different view of who we are, a distinctive color and reflection. Gazing into one feature alone only gives a partial perspective of who we are. Yet it’s through these individual understandings, that when they come together, that make up the entire crystal that we are. And then we see that we are all the crystals…but that’s one of those mystifying things we won’t go into now.

Embrace yourself. Embrace your crystalline being-ness. We are just coming into Spring in the northern hemisphere, and with Spring comes new life and growth. Plant. Water. Feed. We are growing ourselves. What that seed grows into can will have different leaves, flowers, and fruit at any given moment. Allow yourself to spread your glistening crystalline wings and see from above what you are becoming. You are a beautiful Being, perfect and created already in timelessness. We are there already. Now it’s up to each one of us to enjoy every moment in utter bliss and joy. That’s our strength. That’s our journey, and our mission, however that may be manifest for us personally. We are already there.

For me, at this time, I see the inflow of energies and ensuing upgrades as very, very intimate and personal. No matter if they come on waves of gamma, photons or other radiation, as the human part of us understands, they will affect us in different ways. It’s not the energy that determines what we feel or experience, nor where it is coming from. Rather, it’s the beliefs, old identities and perceptions that have already risen to the surface, raised their hands to say, “I have outlived my purpose in your experience. I’m ready to be acknowledged by your conscious mind and body. I am ready to be understood, appreciated for the gift of my service, be burnt up, and release or integrated.” This is what this energetic upgrading is about.

We are all feeling it. But we don’t all recognize it for what it is. Sooner or later we start to catch on. And when we choose to take an intimate look within and see what’s happening inside us personally, we can get a broader view of it all. And with the awareness of this purging, we can finally work with our bodies, with our minds, to ease the process. Again, that ease will have a different feel and flavour for each one of us.

I want to share an experience. In this past week there has been much going on. Not on the outside, where the human mind sees and articulates, but within. My body has sure been feeling the intensity again. After several months of feeling respite, my joints again started to feel that familiar ache, deep and debilitating. As each day passed, it grew stronger and it became difficult to navigate the stairs, in both directions, without me thinking about taking each step carefully and firmly planning my feet down each time. Funny how things we take for granted normally can become a bigger undertaking at these times. And don’t get me started on driving while having a conversation with someone.

On the inside I’m tackling some hard discussions with myself. Now, I know this may at a deeper level than you may struggle with. I’ve always been very philosophical, and I typically don’t take these thought processes lightly. The choice before me now was like choosing to remain snorkeling among the pretty, brightly coloured fish in the lagoon or suiting on the heavier oxygen tanks and letting gravity take me deeper down into the waters that resist the sunlight in search for a priceless treasure that may or may not be there. The treasure de jour? What is beyond this illusionary life?

It’s a make or break time for me in a way. I sense the realness of it, the gravity of this struggle. As we go along in our awakening path, we attract information to us, experiences, people with keys, clues. And it’s our job to fit them all together as it is appropriate for us. Remember, another’s truth isn’t necessarily our own. But these little gems are offered to us to find our truth.

And I’ve been receiving many gems lately. And following them, finding myself questioning. Now, I have always seen asking questions as healthy, and really the only way to find our answers. So I keep asking and nd I keep listening. Watching. But sometimes it seems like no answers are given. This was what I was experiencing now. Lots of questions without definitive responses. Just more lures and enticements. What is beyond this experience? There really is no such thing as a belief. A belief is only something we create to take us from one space to another, one point in our thinking or acting to another. Incidentally, that includes the beliefs we have of an afterlife, God, creation…

I know the life we live is created from energy, nothing solid, it’s quantum. It’s a mind-boggling thing, but it’s something I’ve accepted for some time now. How far does that carry? All the spiritual stories I’ve been taught are part of that. Stories are usually used as teaching mechanisms. If what I’ve been taught as spiritual truths are also simply teaching devices, then what’s beyond that. IS there anything beyond that? Is there anything beyond this world? This universe? This consciousness?

Yeah, I know. Deep. Yet expanded. Perhaps it’s time to redefine it. Expanded contemplation. Well, this inner dialogue, coupled with these waves of gamma upgrades, I’ve been having an explosive time navigating it all. Ups and downs. Joys, frustrations and numbness. Wine. Those that are consciously on the awakening journey will perhaps relate to this in some ways. Those that aren’t will wonder why I waste my time and energy thinking like this. Again, welcome to the intimate and personal space. I share this for those that are maybe struggling as I have been, to encourage you, and inspire you.

Back to the land of the living, I went for coffee with a friend on Friday. It was a good time, and as is normal we got talking about all of this stuff. Talking it out was good, articulating it in human words what my spirit was grappling with was difficult, and that process was freeing as well. She reminded me to be less stringent along the way, that it’s a flow, an organic flow. My humanness wants to know and understand everything NOW, or better yet, yesterday. But that’s not the way this works when we are choosing the difficult way of mental understanding.

Needing to know what’s beyond, though I’m getting hints and teases, isn’t something I need to comprehend. Especially at this stage.

The rest of my day was amazingly and clearly befuddling – in a very joyous way. I was allowing something to come up that’s been lurking just under the surface for a very long time. Following each stepping stone in my path, I was getting nearer to something big. I could feel it. I didn’t understand it. But it was exciting. And I was getting heavier, and my joints were hurting stronger, and my gut was drawing my attention. I knew there was a big upgrade in process.

After dinner it got worse. Different. Something was definitely shifting. I was getting nauseous again, something I get a lot, but this was distinctive and I wondered if I’d be vising the bathroom tonight. I tried some tricks I’ve learned like drinking water, or eating something salty and saturated in fat. Yes, chips. Sometimes they are a good assistant with integration. But after one little chip I knew it wasn’t the answer. Dark chocolate? No, that wasn’t working either. I lay in bed. Breathing deeply. The nausea had turned to being on the verge of vomiting my now. I don’t get that way often, but this night I could feel a huge purging on the horizon.

As I lay there, I also read a short couple chapters in “Navigating Dimensions” by Lisa Brown, on the subject of partnering or cultivating a strong relationship with your soul. This is something that’s not new to any of us on this journey. In fact, you could say the journey itself IS the integration between the humanness and the soul. The communication between the two will always have room for improved intensity until we are purely One. So as I lay there, I start up a dialogue.

I can honestly say I’ve never felt my soul closer, or more excited about this moment we were sharing. Yes, I know words are limited. Whether I say soul, higher self or over soul, it doesn’t really matter. It’s that part of us that we don’t understand, that we seldom include consciously in our lives. It’s time to invite that part in. And it was such a beautiful communication I had with mine.

Again, words are limited. And the words we spoke together were truly only for my human clarification. Still, I got much from this experience.

The soul doesn’t mince energies, nor words. It came straight to the point. I was feeling awful and I seeking help in handling the energy upgrades. At this point I didn’t realize that what I was feeling was the point, rather than just a “symptom”. My soul said to me, “You’ve always been the deep one. You’re too deep, you miss your answers for the deep digging you do to search for them.” I snapped out of my connection because I wanted to remember this. That mind still wants to dictate and remember how it’s experienced. I quieted it down again and reconnected, and continued the discussion. The way I was feeling WAS the answer to my question of what is beyond. I got the strong answer that I could have left the body at that time, to find out what was beyond.

But at that same time it wasn’t my conscious choice to do so. I had considered a lot that day. Bouncing one thought around, then another. In the end it isn’t thinking that solves the equations. It’s resting. Allowing that the answers are there, and no longer struggling to grasp them. And by the time the conversation was nearing an end, the last thing I heard from my soul was “Lighthearted”…over and over again, with a lilt of laughter in the air of it all. I let the struggle go.

As I look back at the last number of months and all the signs and messages that have come my way, I can see the thread of what’s lead me right to this very place. Of course, it’s been an orchestration of my own – it’s personal. And I can feel into the flow of it now, where as before it was just words and intellectual ramblings.

That night before I fell asleep the sickness I was feeling had already started to dissipate. I no longer needed to take the hard road to get to point B. Shedding beliefs can be that simple. When we allow them to be so. I don’t have a cognitive answer for all of my questions that were flying around in my head. I don’t need them. There is no need to fill a void that no longer exists there. Again it’s not something I can explain, rather something only one can experience for oneself. The treasure of this evening was to let the flow happen in a natural way, without pushing through any veil, and just be joyful and lighthearted with every beat of the heart.

My sharing this is to inspire each of you to continue. Of course, we can’t discontinue this journey once we’ve chosen to embark on it. We can fool ourselves in thinking we can, but the truth is even that is part of the letting go.

I awoke the next morning wish such a different feeling and flow in my body and mind. There’s a freedom, and ease here now. Allowing is a powerful tool we have at our disposal for this awakening and uniting with our souls. Actually, it’s the only tool we have. We can’t force it to happen. It’s not something we will or dictate to be, or plan like an itinerary for a trip. We can only let it flow naturally, following the cues we have created already to be there.

When our bodies or minds start to feel the upgrading and connecting it’s a clue to us to LISTEN. What are we thinking? Contemplating? Resisting? What old patterns are we repeating that are ready to be released? What beliefs are being challenged? Where are we limiting ourselves? Once we have a feeling on it, simply acknowledge it, thank it for serving us to this place, and release our connection to it.

I have shared a little of my recent experience because I know I’m not the only one going through this. If this helps you feeling freer and more natural in how you navigate your journey I am glad. With each piece of who we no longer are is released the more who we are can come in and reside fully in our humanness. Imagine being a human and an angel, right here, right now. There are no words to express what this may look like.

Remember, the journey is your creation. You make it what you will, through your conscious interaction with it, with you choices, with the opening of your heart and the allowing of the natural flow. Even the parts we feel powerless in, it is here because we have created it in our ultimate wisdom. Enjoy it, no matter what it looks like. BE it fully. Flow freely and naturally with all that you attract into your awareness. Love to you.

For the Love

I am a mom. I have raised three beautiful and talented children. Two are still in my care, and one is on her own. This is what I signed up for, a passion, and I enjoy every moment of it.

But I have come across something many times, directly and indirectly, from others that have not chosen to be parents. Now the “road to enlightenment” is one that is easier walked alone, without distractions and obstacles of others. I will not for one moment deny this, and I do respect those that have chosen this experience. However, we all need to take care not to slip into judgments, and filtering only through our way of seeing things. There can be a tendency along the way to feel somewhat self-righteous or arrogant, not matter which experiences we have chosen and attracted in this spectacular life. It’s natural. It’s appropriate. It is how it was designed. There is no more to say about this now.

I have seen too many parents (usually mothers) who are looked down upon and even criticized for raising their kids the way they felt best, even to the point of saying we’ve wronged out kids and ruined them. This can stir up a lot of emotion for us parents, even when hearing of another’s experience. When these judgments are coming from people who have never experienced giving birth or watching their mate do so, never held their child when they fell from their first bike, never had to endure a critique from a teacher at school on their child, well, this can certainly push a lot of lower vibration buttons. Especially when it comes from others that are on this awakening path.

What I write today is not to vindicate parents. It’s not about pleading with others to open their hearts. As I already said, each divine journey is to be respected, honoured. Rather, I’m here to encourage parents to keep up the great work, no matter what it looks like in their life.

If we are deliberately walking the path of awareness, some may call it ascension or awakening, then I am quite certain our children are conscious souls as well, and have chosen us as their parents. They chose us for our own levels of awareness. We chose them in our love and passion, and ultimate compassion. Now we could argue about whether this was a human or a soul choice, but that is also another issue. My point here is that we chose each other, by contract if you will, for a purpose, a beautiful, appropriate and divine commitment. Of course at times it may look quite chaotic as well, and that’s part of its magnificence.

So I applaud all the other moms and dads reading this. You are a special breed (as we all are). It takes a lot of courage and faith in oneself to go through the great awakening in the first place. Many are only now starting to wake up. But to raise a child in the midst of all this wildness, well, this opens up a whole new level of awareness for us. We feel into each of our children and follow the “guidelines” that are right for them individually. It’s not an easy task to find that balance, and it can come with lots of challenges. But we do it out of love, from the heart. And we do it for ourselves, our souls. It allows our hearts to open, easily and gently, allowing the rest of the world in, in new and amazing ways.

We learn to release and trust the souls that our children truly are. They are floundering on this journey as well. Sometimes we have words of encouragement for them, other times we are simply “just there”. It’s allowing them to follow their own chosen path, with all its bumps and hills and plateaus. Just as we allow that for ourselves.

JLG_0141-13-1.jpgThis is for all of us who have made the choice to give to another, a part of our Family, whether from our own human bodies or from another’s, the precious gift of joint experience. I am full of pride and joy right now, thinking about how we have experienced this journey along the way. It’s no cake walk, and it’s full of so many rewards. We all choose how we come here to participate in this lifetime. Honour the one you made, without hesitation or doubt. That’s it. Nothing else matters. This is your experience and it will help lead you to a grand and fantastical place. And do I really need to remind you all that we are way showers to our children? What a sacred gift.

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