I saw a cartoon today that depicts one lone black sheep “excusing” himself continuously while weaving his way in the opposite direction to the entire white sheep heard as they trudged on to their impending demise over a cliff. At first one snickers at this. We even have a name for this white sheep phenomena. “Sheeple”. Then we realized how true it is. It’s never easy to go against the crowd, and if you are reading this, you probably can relate to the black sheep. Then we’re hit with the understanding that it’s only one sheep, listening to his own voice, the “different drummer”, that will survive the unconscious flow, because he’s going his own way. And then the 99.9% of the rest are doomed. How sickeningly true.

Well, it used to be true. I am not sure this is an accurate percentage any more. People are waking up. More and more Sheeple are shedding their wooly suits and are asking questions. We are, as a global family, beginning to hear that distant drum, turning our ear as we stop simply following the Sheeple ahead of us, and maybe turning our bodies to follow this new call.

It’s time for us to change our thinking, us that are awake. We may still be the minority, us that have heard the drummer within and are walking our own paths away from absolute doom, but we are certainly growing in numbers. I’d love to see another new version of this with black speckles dotting the ocean of white, all moving away from the cliff. Not necessarily in the same exact direction, but always toward Life and Truth.

When we see this in our mind’s eye, we create the reality of it. Let’s all allow a change in the way we see the world “out there”. Let us all envision the crowd stopping, listening, turning and beginning the walk of awareness. It begins in our hearts and minds, then spreads. It’s not about them and us (that great lie of separation), not about being black or white, or being the prestige of being “the first” or pioneers versus the late-comers even. We need all of humanity to pause and reflect, and shift. Sometimes that does include us already going against the crowd. And those that can’t? Well, they will at some point. We that flow in this other direction must keep our consciousnesses flowing toward the Truth and Love. No matter what.

Let’s create that new visual. Let’s turn the tide blacker and see the whole ocean of sheep, even the white ones, ebbing farther and farther from that dead drop. This is our destiny.


It’s My Age

I had a job once. I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed working with the people, the staff, the work itself. It was a satisfying challenge and it nurtured my soul to be there. But then I moved cities. I eventually found another similar job and quickly took on a management role. Suddenly I was living and experiencing the down-side of the job that my old manager told me about. I found myself squeezed between two bosses: one that employed and paid me, and the other that I was a representative of and took orders from as well. I’ll only say here that the two were usually on different sides of the fence in their expectations of me, and my small staff, and I was being pulled to please this party, and then that party. To make things even more interesting, I was very well aware that my direct bosses were, let’s say, narcissistic verging on sociopathic. They had trouble keeping staff and there was a very regular roll over of employees. I was thrilled when a customer came to me and asked is I was interested in another job. I became one of their roll over statistics. I escaped.

But you know what happens when you flee somewhere in this way, when you keep running and hoping something good will come along, and not really addressing the bottom line? You find yourself right back in a similar place. Again, I enjoyed what I did, to a big degree. But they say the management makes or breaks the workplace. It’s true. And I again found myself in an unhealthy place of employment. Let me be clear. It was unhealthy for me. Life was trying to get a message through to me.Why? Oh, I knew why. At the last job I escaped I felt I needed to leave. Just quit. But you know how the bills would pile up, the expectations of others, etc. Yeah. I’m human and these things hung around my neck like stinky garlic. So I stayed until this “window of opportunity” presented itself.

So I found myself in a similar place at this new job, waiting and searching for this new window. All the curtains and blinds were shut tight. Nothing was opening for me. And inside my heart was screaming out a truth I had known for years. When we allow ourselves to be blown around by circumstance and other people’s choices, and expectations for us, we lose ourselves. I was lost. And the only way to be found again was by making my own choice. One straw came, and another and then finally I couldn’t ignore the Universe’s “hints” any longer. I had to make a decision. When we allow outside influences to push us here and there we never find our own footing. But, when we make a choice, we create a void that must be filled with like energy. What it is filled with, however, is always going to be determined by the same energy we made the choice with. So a good awareness of myself in this moment was crucial.

I gave my notice three weeks ago. It was a very busy, exhausting and educational three weeks. And today is my first day in my new journey. Unemployed. I have nothing to go to at the moment. And it feels great! I’ve needed time for myself, to do some inner work, inner healing, inner rest for a very long time now. My job took all my energy before, and my body, mind and emotions were raw and aching. Now I can focus on MY truth. Now I nurture me. Now I find MY path and passion. Now I will support what is important to ME.

I know this may sound selfish to many, but after fifty years of following in the wake others have directed for me, it’s time to find my own purpose and pleasure. This comes from the heart, not from a place of anger, or frustration, or resentment. Some of that I’ve felt along the way, but eventually my heart was filled enough to see the inconsistencies and unbalances through love. But the love that I need to focus on now is love for myself.

One of the people I knew through my last job congratulated me, and said, “It’s your age, you know.” Yes, it could be my age. This “mid-life” thing is real, for many reasons. I am at that place in life where I can naturally reassess, well, everything. It is that fork in the road where I must really see what is appropriate for me and what is not. I’ve been doing that with little things all along, but this is where the meat is separated from the candy bars. This is where it gets real. I know many people who have never been able to see through the mists of status quo. I’m not one of them. And my soul won’t let me sit back any longer. The inner battle is simply now worth it.

I believe it’s also about my soul’s age. My soul is not new here. And my soul is ready for my humanness to get on board, finally, with whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing here. Today is the first day of this new connection. Where is it leading? I know through what it is leading and it brings me so much joy even just thinking about it all now. I saw a cartoon today where a person was being harassed and kicked by Finances, Work and Stress. Finally, Art came into the picture with a supporting hug. Creativity is the answer. We are creative beings in every way imaginable. Our society has for decades, if not longer, tried to turn off this creativity, but it’s time to pour it on – thick. And quick. Fall into it. It will save us.

So while I don’t know how this new chapter will read in a year from now, five, or even ten, I do know I’m following my heart and passions. I have projects I am choosing to follow and see to fruition. I know I have created this void, filled with my truth and ultimate love, that will keep attracting like-energy things and people and ideas. I welcome life. I welcome prosperity. I welcome expression. I welcome awareness. I welcome my community.

This is good for me to be, and it’s okay to not have exact direction. I’m finally at a place where I can fall into this. Falling into me. It’s been a long journey, and there’s more ahead, but this is a milestone. And I’m ready…

The Big “D”

When we women get to a certain age and find ourselves in a gynaecological crazy world, we start to time travel. We go into the past to try and figure out how we got here. What did we eat? What medications did we take? What utensils did we use? You get the idea. Well, this remembering can be good as long as we use it to shift our focus away from the past to what we can do NOW to help our bodies rebalance.

This is where Detoxification comes in. Ooooo Not many of us like this word. It means abstaining. Not enjoying something we love. It doesn’t need to be this way in all areas. In some, yes, but in others we can take measures now to eat, do, use the correct things that will assist our bodies instead of feeding the old.

What we ingest will make a huge difference if we want to nourish our bodies and promote a healthy and balanced vehicle for ourselves. This includes what we choose to drink, and drink from I had to add, and what we eat. In both cases we will want to keep things more alkaline. When we get too acidic our bodies create health issues. Only eating alkaline foods also causes issues, so it’s a delicate balance. You may want to connect with a dietician or natural health doctor to help you sort it all out. But I can’t stress enough that drinking lots of good, clean water daily is pivotal for cleansing and clearing the bad stuff out.

As for what we sip through or eat on, keep it natural. Plastics are not natural and ooze so many chemicals that are harmful to us. It’s not just BPA either. In fact, plastics that pride in being BPA-free usually have BPS – which is even more problematic. I have a “thing” for jars. I use them for storage. I still use the plastic baggies, but as much as possible I’m moving away from plastic and toward jars and other GLASS containers for storage. I also use stainless steel straws. I know you can find glass or even paper straws. I haven’t tried using them yet. But if you do opt for glass or stainless steel, do get a proper straw brush. It’s crucial.

Of course there is more we can do for our bodies. Going through a candida detox is super important whenever we are going through health issues. This should be our first go-to. Some symptoms of Candida overgrowth in our bodies are bloating, weight-gain, headaches, brain fog, unexplainable aches. Of course there is also the yeast infections that so many of us have experienced. And need I say that candida doesn’t do much good when one has too much estrogen going on. It still surprises some that birth-control and antibiotics create a candida imbalance. There is lots of information online about detoxing from yeast and “diets” are all over the web. All will focus on eliminating sugars, fermentation/vinegars, and moulds. Yes, this means any sugars – including the healthy ones. It includes wines. Cheeses. And so much more we so adores on our plates and in our glasses. Even fermented drinks that boast healthy outcomes, like kombucha and kefir, will actually feed the yeast. But if we can hold steady for a month and eat clean, we can show those “yeastie beasties” who’s boss and get control of our health back.

Detoxing our physical environments is the next big one. There is so much in our world now that is not beneficial to our human bodies. Technology and products are moving further away from healthy living and increasingly we are being bombarded with more and more harmful radiation and chemicals. It’s a good time to check our habits with our computers, laptops and cell phones as well. How about reading ingredients in our cleaners and make-up. Do you have a printer? Even the chemicals from these little tools are harmful. But there are things we can do to combat this. Start using healthier alternative products, home-made cleaners, and not keeping your cell phones or iPods on your bodies. There are even crystals and other products that can assist with EMF protection. I’ve started to keep a hematite or pyrite on me at work for just this reason.

The last detox I want to mention here is a harder one to deal with. It’s toxic relationships. This could be with your children, parents, friends, co-workers, partners, bosses or even with ourselves. It’s probably the simplest detox to do, but definitely the hardest to carry out. Only you will know if it’s time to end a relationship/partnership, or if there is something you can do to change it into a healthy, nurturing situation. Here’s a short checklist to see where you sit.

Does this relationship:

  • make you feel good about yourself OR make you question your every thought or action
  • have you treading on thin ice OR nurture self improvement and growth
  • make you feel big OR small
  • leave you feeling complete and fulfilled OR like something’s missing, or worse, your are dying a little inside
  • allow you to give and take OR always leave you feeling drained

These questions are a good place to begin to discern if any of your relationships need a detox as well. Depending on the situation, you may even wish to seek professional help to talk it through with someone.

Now, when this unhealthy relationship is with yourself you will understand when people say, “She’s her own worst enemy.” You may feel like you’re always in a downward spiral and nothing ever goes your way. You will find yourself depressed and maybe even suicidal, sometimes in spite of the brave and “I have it all together” mask you wear for others to see. If this rings any bells within you, I strongly urge you to seek out a professional you can speak with. You haven’t lost it and you’re definitely not a hopeless case. We all need a little help at times to see the light in our dim view. Once we take off the Oakleys we can see how things really are.

When we have a healthy physical, emotional and mental environment, we have the foundation and team to succeed in every way. While detoxing may not be fun, it is super important to practice. There is so much more that can be said on the subject and it may come up again. But for right now, making healthy choices is the key.

The Crossroads

When things crash onto my radar that trigger an emotion, I try to stop and consider what my Soul is wanting me to understand. Today it was a friend’s FB post that she shared.

“Unfortunately, no one notices your tears.

No one notices your sadness.

No one notices your pain.

But everyone notices your mistakes.”

I have felt this so often! I’ve always been a “good girl”, a people pleaser, putting others first before myself. And I’ve been commended for just that over and over again. Sounds good and “Christian” doesn’t it? But for most of my life I’ve done this to please others, to my own detriment. It’s a hard habit to break out of. Serving others in Love is NOT the enemy. I need to say that loud and clear. But when it means compromising your own Self, your needs, your desires, your truth…well, then we definitely have a problem.

This compromising isn’t healthy! It tells the mind and body that we really don’t care at all about ourselves. And the more we ignore our own necessities, the less our “team” works together. You know what happens sooner or later? Our inner communication breaks down and we find we are dealing with health and mental issues. All because we ignored the most basic needs in life.

I’ve been working on this for many years, most of my adult life, breaking free from expectations. It’s not an easy thing. Others in our lives expect us to be, think, do and act certain ways. Ways that they are comfortable with. Ways that serve their needs. Ways that seem to crumble the matrix of their world when we step outside of they expect us to be in their lives. And when we do they will definitely let us know they are not pleased. Now, until this is healed within us, we do the same thing to others. So there is no judgment here! But it is time to stop this madness!

It’s time to see that unless we DO step out of their matrix, we will never live truthfully to our own selves. Living to meet other’s expectations, pleasing others, compromising ourselves, only brings our energy levels lower and lower. We lose ourselves. We deplete hope. Our pride in ourselves becomes bankrupt, as does our self-respect. These are all healthy aspects of life, not evil or self-serving. They are part of a healthy lifestyle. What happens when we drain our bodies of water and nutrients? We become sick. The same thing happens when we become tapped in other ways. Depression? Yes. Loss of joy? You bet. Forgetting anything that brings you passion and drive. And it all leads to anger and resentment if you continue down this road, whether or not we can see it ourselves. Many times we need someone unbiased on the outside to help point it out. By then it may be a hard turn to “recovery”. This emotional turmoil will always affect our physical health to one degree or another.

Until we individually say, “NO MORE”.

That’s where the above noted Facebook post comes in, and how it triggered me. No one sees inside of me, no matter how well they may think they know me, or how much I try to explain what I’m going through. Again, they “know” me only through their filters. That’s not ME. It’s “their” me. Ah, yes. A little philosophical here. Moving on. The bottom line is that even when we try to explain things to those closest to us, hoping they understand, they can’t. They aren’t inside us and have no capability to know what we are going through. So when you do begin to stand up for yourself, saying NO and living what’s truthful to you, and honouring your needs, they don’t know what to do with it.

And suddenly we are wrong, sacrilegious, lost, not seeing things straight, etc. The trick at this stage is to not move into doubt or judgment yourself. It’s so easy to slip back into being the good girl/good boy (yes, we all are in this together) to keep the peace. But the peace is only on the outside. Not where it really counts for you. It’s a battle. One that can be waged gracefully, but it isn’t easy. It’s a learned art.

This is where the crossroads come to life, where choices can seem to take people in opposite directions. Healthy choices. We can only make healthy choices for ourselves. They may not always turn out how we intended them, but they will always take us through things we need to address, to our next destination, and beyond.

So when I am triggered by this whole phenomena of being invisible to others until I step outside of their realm of expectations, I will endeavour to see it as an honour. It’ll be a little love letter from myself, a sort of pat on my back, saying, “Good job. You’re listening to your own heart and following your own path. I’m proud of you. I love you.”

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 11.16.40 AM

I’ve loved photography since I was in my teens. When I see something of Beauty I’ll stop and snap a photo of it if I can.

This morning I was on the way out to see if my van would start so I could get it to the mechanic. But as I was getting my shoes on, something was wanting to catch my attention. I looked up and noticed the sunlight coming through the window, illuminating the inside of these wicker ornamental balls. It was lovely. So off went my shoes and I ran to the bedroom to get my camera. Of course, like many things, it wasn’t easy to capture what my naked eyes were experiencing exactly. Without taking the time to get my tripod and set up the whole scene as I would have if I had the time, I took the plunge and started snapping. And I’m still please with what I got.

I do believe that life as we know it is holographic. As above, so below. As within, so without. Etc. Our Souls will bring little winks and reminders in ways that we personally will recognize. I tend to see these snapshots of my Soul’s love letters, and today it was quite visual.

As I was editing my photos I found myself seeing seeing these balls as a symbol of my uterus. I’ve been making it a daily habit of loving and blessing my uterus, and this was a tangible reminder of this beautiful Light filling my womb and blessing me back.

Little signs, flutters, whispers. They’re here to remind us that we are more radiant than we often feel. We all glow inside. I wanted to share that with you. Be open to seeing and hearing and feeling what your inner Self wants to whisper to you. This journey can roar with emotion, but it’s also in the times of silent peace that we heal and balance.

Glow with Grace and Love.

I have an angry uterus. I am forty-nine now. I have had forty-nine years to work on this anger. This womb that has borne me three children that I love, adore and want to make a better world for. But this womb is now angry. It’s tired of the bull shit. It’s done with me internalizing life’s bitter battles and absorbing the emotions I’ve had since childhood up till now. Emotions of guilt, loss, betrayal, abandonment, distrust, and all that leads to anger.

The irony is that my womb is feeling the hurt of my inner child. It’s the battles I’ve succumbed to, that I could never, would never dare, to stand up for myself about. Little wars within my own mind and heart, because on the one hand I’m to look up to and respect my parents and elders as I grow up, and on the other when I know they’re not always right or innocent, yet I must keep my lips shut and the tears in.

The double irony is that this isn’t the way my parents remember it. Of course, we all filter life through our beliefs and what we want to believe. But as a child I wasn’t aware of this. I thought I was wrong. I was always wrong. And so much of my adult life I’ve been told I’m wrong. Wrong to think this, wrong to believe that, wrong for seeing something as I do.

And I hold it all in. Well, it has all gone straight into my gut, my inner womb that is supposed to be my sacred and safe place.

It hit me hard today that my fibroid is directly related to my resentment toward my childhood years and those that followed. I was reading a portion of Donna Eden’s book, “Energy Medicine for Women”, where she relates an experience she had with her one of her daughters and her fibroid near-catastrophe. While Tanya, Donna’s daughter, was in the midst of uterine surgery to remove the fibroid, Donna was shocked at the energy the fibroid was exuding. In her words, the fibroid gave off an “evil, dark force” which was in stark contrast to her still daughter. This fibroid was feeding and growing bigger.

It got me to thinking, which isn’t always a good thing for a Gemini. This time I’m sure I’m onto something.

This fibroid inside of me is feeding and growing. I’ve come to know that it feeds on estrogen, and there are many imbalanced chemicals that create an estrogen-dominant environment. But, silly me, I know nothing originates in the physical. Everything is spiritual, or metaphysical, beyond the physical. You can say psychosomatic if you want. Of course, there can be many reasons a woman’s body will create fibroids, but in my journey this is where my Soul is taking me.

I know my triggers. Those buttons come out to the surface to be pushed relentlessly whenever I attempt to stand up for myself, or when I share something I’m excited about doing. And what about the times when I make a choice, one that everyone knows is not the right one, but even though I’m following my heart and the world comes crashing down, that button that says “kick me, again” comes up and I hear and feel the chorus of “I told you so’s.”

I am only sharing this in such a way because it is my inner child that’s hurt, wounded, and she is maybe pouting, trying to get attention. Truth is, no matter what is behind the actions of those in my world, it is MY response that has created my reality. It’s not my place to excuse or ignore or patronize anyone else’s actions. I am only responsible for my own. And I’m getting a glimpse into what my reactions have caused for me.

So on a higher vibrational plane I need to make some changes. I’m no stranger to making such changes. Many times I’ve had to pull away from people, places, things, in order to reclaim myself. However, sometimes these paths take the scenic routes. There is no timeline for such changes, and that’s a good thing! It’s about one foot in front of the other.

My first foot tonight is to start speaking to my blessed womb. This part of a woman’s anatomy is taken so for granted and even mocked or cursed in our society. It’s the battlefield where much blood is spilled from that first moment of puberty until that great Change of menopause. It’s time to change my relationship with my uterus, and all the gang that goes with it.

It’s time to practice Ho’oponopono, the ancient Hawaiian practice of love and forgiveness. It’s the “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.” It’s about looking in the proverbial (or physical) mirror and speak this ultimate Love to one’s self first and foremost. It ripples out from there, but I begins in one’s own heart.

I choose to love my uterus, my womb of creation, and open up to her beauty and life-giving treasures. She’s not done. I’ve birthed my children into this world, but I have much more to birth, to create. And this fibroid, while being a formidable foe, is not compatible with who I am or the Love that pulses through my Being. It’s time the tenant in my uterus is set free in Trust and Understanding, and Love and Forgiveness, so the centre of my manifesting in this life can return to me. I’m the newly reunited tenant.

I realize this is a very woo-woo post, but it’s all woo-woo after all. Here we go…

New Journeys

It’s a wondrous thing with your kids “suddenly” change from inexperienced children to adults that are learning and growing. It can be an exciting shock to a mother’s system when you hear them say things you’d never think you’d hear coming from their lips, and the pride and love gushing from your soul is real and palpable. Well, that happens to me from time to time.

Most recently it was my youngest daughter. She and I have both been dealing with health issues recently. My issues have been going on for over a year, but we’ll get to all that. She just underwent some major, “challenging” surgery and it has opened the door to a lot of potential for her. We’ll just say it. She got all the “boobage” in our family. So much that it has been holding her back for a long, long time. The long journey to this point was complete and she has had a reduction. One of the first things she said to me was, “Wow, now I can see my belly!” Yes, that was humorous and it still brings a smile to my face, but this is the beginning of the new leg of the health journey for her.

In the last couple of years my lifestyle and diet has gone by the wayside for different reasons. But I’ve wanted to get back to what is right for me. And now my daughter is on board as well. This is where so much confusion comes in. I have been a vegetarian before and I gained weight and felt all my energy drained out of me. It was like a miracle when I heard of the Blood Type Diet (by Dr. D’Adamo) and gave it a try. Well, it probably was a mistake (not that I believe in mistakes) but the first meal off the vegetarian diet was…liver! Okay, I thought I was going about it the right way. I used to LOVE liver and onions. So I got a bit of organic calf liver and took it along to my parents’ for our Sunday Family dinner. They barbecued steak and I was looking forward to my liver. The first meat I had had in a couple years. OMG It was horrible! Yuck. What happened to liver? Well, let’s just say I have not touched liver since that day. But I did change my diet and found myself losing weight and gaining energy simply by changing my diet. My migraines had almost disappeared as well.

But that was twenty years ago. Lots has happened between then and now. In in this now I’m again looking at diet and health. And it’s not just because I want to now, but because I have a daughter that’s ready to take the plunge with me. Feeling terrible isn’t fun. Up to this point I’ve been able to climb back up that mountain, to spring back easily and live happily. Is it my age? My body doesn’t respond like it once did. And it sometimes feels like I’m alone in my journey. Even those that should understand simply can’t or don’t. Everyone sees life through their filters. And that’s okay, it’s normal, it’s human.

This blog is taking a slightly different path in the forest of Change. The Maiden has become the Mother, and now she’s moving into the Crone phase of life. There is a lot of wisdom to be gleaned and shared. Expressions will now follow this journey.

So what is it that my daughter said to me that made me proud? I’m working for a naturopath right now and I may talk more about sensitivities, supplements and natural health more than I even did before. Now that she can see her belly and wants to get into a healthier lifestyle too, she said the other day that she wanted her brain chemicals tested. Her BRAIN CHEMICALS. What normal person even thinks about their brain chemicals? She made me laugh and tear up a little with that. She’s ready. She’s hit the wall of resistance and is ready to accept the next step in her path.

I am too.

My path of late has been bushwhacking through a gynaecological nightmare. I don’t remember exactly when or how it all started, but the flood gates opened up and by body freely flowed out with life-sustaining blood. For a couple of months. Non-stop. I was already anemic and had now plunged into the severely low point with my iron. A year ago I was diagnosed with a fibroid. My family doctor gave me a prescription for progesterone as nothing else was helping, without going the way of surgery. It stopped the bleeding and I was thrilled. On and off my body would react to life’s stresses and pick up the flow again, but the pills stopped it quickly. I am determined to keep things as natural as possible.

Until this past June. Away on a work trip my body was overstressed and soon I was losing blood and iron again like it was in vogue. This blog isn’t a place for descriptive narratives of what was happening, though I feel this has a place so others will understand. I will try not to get into all that, but focus on my journey in a spiritual light. That’s what this journey is about. That’s what every journey is about. I had a very low emotional day yesterday and was reminded that everything in life is there to bring us to our Truth and Love. It’s time to come back to this place. There are many changes coming in my life. I know this. I’ve been told I have the gift of “soothsaying”. I know how things will be as soon as I embark on something new. Endings bring new life, new paths, new choices and absolutely beautiful new potentials. But these endings are the hard part. It’s all part of the same journey.

It’s like this blog itself. I began it a number of years ago in honour of the beautiful changes in life, and to encourage our higher view of things that life brings. Well, it’s time to welcome “The Change” in to this expression. It’s my reality at this time and could be many of yours too. Change is constant. It takes on many flavours but it’s all change that leads to something MORE. I am filled with gratitude, once again, that you’re on this journey with me. Let’s be real. Let’s be honest. Let’s share from the heart this life we are living.

With lots of love to you all, and many blessings…


For those of us that have already started walking the path of awareness, awakening, we know that everything that exists in our reality has one purpose. It is here purely for our enlightenment. This includes people, situations, “lessons”, feelings, beliefs, careers, etc. This includes conspiracies. Whether it’s about chemtrails, aliens, money, events or whatever, it’s there in your awareness to assist you with your enlightenment. I’ve been sitting with this for quite some time now, and feel this is the moment to share.

Here I have to say that if you have never found a conspiracy to enter into your life in any way, then you have not agreed to this way of opening up, raising your vibration. You have chosen other means. But for those of us that have, I will continue.

What is a conspiracy? Many people will first scream our “bunk” or “bullshit” or “lies to distract”, and it could in fact be this. I just Googled the word now, and found…”a secret plan by a group to do something unlawful or harmful”. Really? While this is the pure meaning of the word, it’s not accurate in this world anymore. That’s pulp culture, and need I add in fear-based. After all, it’s based on “conspire”, right? Okay, many conspiracies do succumb to this definition, but many are shared by whistle blowers. Who of us would not have wanted Edward Snowden to share what he knew? He was a “conspiratist”, one who raised the alarm bells and shared information. And he brought into public view some very pertinent information that has allowed many more beliefs and actions to be freed. But let’s take a step back.

Everything in our awareness has been put there by our Selves for the purpose of awakening, for uniting our entire Beingness in the body here and now.

So with everything I hear, see, feel, sense, I allow a deeper understanding to flow in through this gift, this vehicle of “conspiracy”. To do anything more human, like resist or fight a battle against it, is to throw the gift we’ve given ourselves in the trash bin.

There is a conspiracy, or idea, that we are living in a different reality than we used to. I’ve heard it called the Mandela Effect. This is where people remember things one way but by all means of searching and “proof” it’s never been that way here. The name sake example is that many of us, me included, remember Mandela dying many years ago while in prison. But in this reality he died only in 2013. Now, this could be faulty memory, or rumour based.

There is another name for this phenomenon. The Berenstein Effect. This one got me before I knew it was a “thing”. My kids read these books. We owned them. We read them together. I can see it in my mind’s eye, from the characters to the letters on the book covers. Then about seven or eight years ago I noticed something strange. The name was not Berenstein, as I would have bet money on, but Berenstain. A simple letter change, but was I losing my marbles? I figured I was remembering wrong and let it go.

Then I started to hear of other examples. Mandela being one. Oscar Meyer? No, Oscar Mayer – and this one still bothers me as I can “see” it spelled Meyer when I engage my memory. Sex AND the City. Interview with THE Vampire. These are some examples I have personally wondered about. And then I met the Mandela Effect “conspiracy”.

Why all these changes in the way I remember things? Well, as stated already it could be the way the brain/memory works. In fact, there is a burst of articles talking about just that in the recent few years, saying that our memories ARE faulty, and by design. Perhaps a way “they” are making this easier for us to swallow? LOL Anyway, the biggest reason whistleblowers out there are giving for this phenomenon is CERN and the Large Hadron Collider. It’s said that they’ve opened up a black hole and we’ve jumped into another time loop.

I know we ARE shifting timelines, as we shift our awareness and vibration. It’s a very natural process, and one that is both individual and collective. It’s something more metaphysical that’s flowing into the physical. Are the scientists at CERN trying to duplicate it and take us back to a timeline of war and fear? Or in an effort to save humanity? Or is there anything pertinent at CERN at all? It doesn’t matter.

The whole point of this is to say that there IS something happening. In me. An awareness that this conspiracy has helped open up. There was a day a while back when it was just obvious to me. If we have jumped a dimension, how is it that many of us are remembering things differently?

Ah, it’s consciousness. That’s the key and the lock itself. You know those moments you know something but can’t explain it? Well this is one. This body isn’t who I am. I am fully aware that this body is only a radio through which I receive signals and experiences things in. But the true essence of ME is not the body. How would I know if my body had changed by shifting a reality? I probably wouldn’t except for my conscious awareness. And again, many aren’t yet waking up to their consciousness, but as more and more of us are, so is mass consciousness This was the gift in this Mandela Effect moment for me. Bringing this understanding of consciousness from a mental believe to a true realization.

So with all this talk about transhumanism, which is another conspiracy to many, it’s the same concept. We are consciousness. It doesn’t matter if we are in a biologically created/evolved body or something that was created using schematics and lab instruments…hmmm things have come full circle. What has continued to be basic and foundational is our consciousness. It works with whatever body it has agreed to conjoin with.

And in this time we are in where many are awakening to their true essence, it’s even great in scope. We can be in perfect integration with the body now and fully awake in the Soul.

It’s not for us to toss aside things that show up on our radar simply because we don’t like to hear it. Unless we aren’t ready to receive. But when we are ready, there are some fantastic realizations and leaps in store.

Scrubby Trubbles

You know that moment when you either want to slap something silly or burst out laughing? Well, that’s what happened to me yesterday. I chose to laugh out loud. After all, hitting the object of my inspiration would have hurt me.

Ever wash dishes? Ever scrubbed them with a brush? Ever seen one of Screen Shot 2016-04-29 at 4.15.22 PMthese little guys, that sit on your counter by way of a teeny tiny suction cup? I have fought with these things for ever! I don’t know if Ikea is the only supplier of such beasts, but this also didn’t come with a manual. I have tried wetting the surface, drying the surface, gently pushing down on the suction cup, and downright slamming it on the counter. The crazy little gizmo would look at me and say, “Nah, not gonna let you succeed.” And it would drop into the sink with a thud. Or worse, into a sink full of water, splashing me with water and hysterical enjoyment.

Well last night I used the brush, put it on the edge of the sink and do you know what it had the audacity to do? It fell, suction cup first, and ever so simply secured itself to the bottom of the rinse sink. Just like the last tumbler of a lock gliding smoothly into place, it stood there waiting for my response. Yeah, I had no option but to laugh at the little bugger.

My Dad was curious at what I was laughing about, and I told him. He picked up the scrubby buddy and just let go again, and that thing stood to attention again, not so much mocking me now. I was getting the message.

Why does it take a human so long to really shift into something new. Well, the shift is painless and instantaneous, but the little bit before when the mind is still struggling with letting go, the battle can seem eternal. Like my fight with the scrubber brush.

Again this is all about allowing. Not trying to force things to happen. Not controlling the outcome. Simply allowing and letting go. When we trust, the natural response happens effortlessly. Things just click into place, as they say, and the struggle is gone. Actually, the struggle has never existed.

Thought of the day:
I trust and allow myself to be exactly “where” and “when” appropriate to manifest into my reality all that I already am.

That may be a little abstract, but let it be. It’s the mind that needs to understand it, but the essential part of us already does.

By the way, it really does work. Just release. My new slogan.

What Is Allowing?

Here’s another question. Would it kill high school students to be, I don’t know, POLITE and RESPECTFUL?

I pulled into a parking spot at my daughter’s high school, but it wasn’t a pretty moment. Actually it was a bit of a noisy operation as I heard my front tire squeal in objection, pulling a tad big too close to the curb as I turned in. I was not centered in my spot, but I was straight. A fact I was reminded of when I eventually pulled out of the parking stall. Straight is what mattered, and I most certainly wasn’t blocking anyone out of his or her vehicle to my right.

And still it seems I ruined some young lass’s home time. She was cursing as she walked between our two vehicles with her backpack strapped on, banging her water bottle the passenger door of my van in the process. And you bet I heard her calling me a bitch, she didn’t restrain her voice. And then she continued to complain to her friends heading to their own vehicles as she goes around to the other side of her SUV to get in from the passenger side. Ah, a wee bit of overkill? Drama queens. Gotta love ‘em.

Yes, I did get her licence plate number. Alberta registration. Wonder how long they’ve been in BC without getting new registration for this province? Should I file a complaint? To who? Would they even care? Someone might care if they have been in BC for more than three months and got caught… But not the authorities, I was sure of that. I’ve witnessed stupid road rage in high school parking lots before, and a lot worse than this. This was not of the same calibre, but I wanted to stand up for myself, and show this not-quite-a-child-any-longer but not-yet-a-grown-woman that it’s really not that cool to act in such a manner. In fact it’s quite immature. After all, one day she would need to learn to be respectful and responsible. Hell, one day she may even have kids of her own. What kind of role model will she be for them.

But it wasn’t my job to parent her. It did, however, get me thinking about this thing called “allowing”. Again. It’s been something I’ve been allowing and mentally working through for quite some time.

Allowing what? Allowing others to walk all over me? To let them have control over me? To let them take advantage of me? No. Allowing has nothing to do with another person at all!

Allowing is about one person alone. That’s the one peeking back at me when I look into the mirror. Allowing is so simple. And allowing is the most difficult thing to get a grasp on for the human. And I’m still walking “human” a lot it seems.

When one is ready to let go of controlling a situation and simply trusting, one is ready for allowing. No control. No drama. No uneasy feeling inside at all. No listening to what others say you should do. No reacting because it’s what others say is best.

It’s a tough place to be, this place of allowing. It can be very difficult because others around us will want to get their say in, their way in, dictate from their filters. That’s when the battle with the mind gets stronger, even once a decision is made to allow. Once that choice is made, suddenly all the creepy crawlies from past experiences and even self-empowerment books will come and say we’re doing it all wrong.

This itself is a journey. We choose to allow. Congratulations. We even win some battles with friends and family. Kudos. This process is one I think we should call a practice. You know, like the joke about doctors having a medical practice because they’re still learning, getting it right… Allowing is a pathway of practice. But with each time we just rest in allowing the stronger we get.

And this strength, again, is not mental or human in any way. This strength is found somewhere deeper. That’s why people on the outside see it as a weakness, perhaps, because they can’t see the blossoming occuring within us. Sure, some say they can. Even most intuitives don’t feel into the pureness of of the soul as they will sense things with their own filters. This is never about them anyway. And here is another opportune area we can practice allowing.

So how can we tell when we are truly in allowing? Let’s find another word for this to gain some insight. Freedom. Allowing and freedom are both truly attitudes. It’s where we find ourselves once we have truly forgiven ourselves for the lack that is in truth impossible, because One is our core essence. And within One there can not be any lack of any kind. It’s when we are at a place without need for controlling anything, that simple trust that it all comes to us, already and always. It’s the freedom we feel when there is nothing hanging over us, and there is no need to defend ourselves because defensive measures simply aren’t in our experience of living.

Sound like something only a yogi or monk can achieve? I can’t answer for them, but I do know that it’s really nothing to achieve at all. Allowing is who we are. That is, before we succumbed to humanity’s ways of absence and imprisonment. Or should I say, surrendered our divine freedom in order to be accepted, safe, supported, and all from the outside.

True, these things can be very important to the human trying to survive. But our priorities are all screwed up. And trying to climb up the rungs by way of carrying others and their possessions (beliefs) on our backs will only break us and bring us more struggle, something that is foreign to our very essence. That was never the way it was meant to be.

Allowing feels like you are the centre of the universe. Guess what. You ARE! I invite you to see yourself, right now, as your universe. That’s it. There is no one else. There is nothing holding your back or tethering your down. There is only you. Sense that. Let every one of your pre-determined beliefs be free for a while, just let them wonder on their own – they won’t go far I promise – and feel into your sole solidarity. Your Oneness. Feel yourself floating on a calm sea of Love, of trust, of absolute Being-ness. You lack for nothing in this state. Everything comes to you as you conceive the thought of it. Why? Because it’s already there. It is already part of you. How awesome is this Light-ness? There is only joy and bliss and peace and fullness.

Sit in this energy for as long as you want. This is yours. It’s not something I conjured up with my words. What you are feeling is what your state of allowing feels like in this moment. And it’s pretty simple.

And then enters those beliefs, and other humans. Life does continue. Challenges are relentless. Lessons are tough and memories are dug up from the ashes, at least until we are in a constant state of allowing, an endless awareness of our essence.

I won’t pretend I have it. I struggle daily. I’ve had awesome highs, and some great lows with many tears and frustrated discussions with friends that have transcended to deeper levels of allowing already. I am thankful for these people in my life for they urge me on. Those levels don’t look like anything strong or powerful to others, but then that doesn’t matter. It’s not their experiential journey. And theirs isn’t mine. And that’s a basic place to begin with your allowing. Allow yourself to just be in your free state of being, one experience at a time.

Allowing is a backbone of awakening to who we are on the flip side of this human identity. Take the plunge. Trust your Self. Trust your universe to take you deeper than you’ve ever gone before into Soul essence.

In the end, it doesn’t matter how far or how close we park from others’ vehicles, they will always play the power game until they allow themselves also. What we do in the quiet of our sacred hearts ripples out to the other souls sharing this same dimension. Yet, they are not why we are here. Not initially. So be all you are, and allow all you are.

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